IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Issues related to
people
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 in suburban
areas
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 are frequently discussed these days. It is undeniable that the number of
people
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 in rural
areas
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 is decreasing because they are relocating to
towns
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 nowadays. The desirable and undesirable impacts of
this
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 issue will be explained in
this
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 essay. Personally, despite the fact that
this
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 trend has some positives, I am convinced that there are a greater number of drawbacks. On one side of the argument, there are various advantages associated with the fact that the population in
towns
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 is rising more than in the past. One significant advantage is that
cities
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 would develop their infrastructure to support
people
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. To illustrate, if the number of citizens in
cities
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 is increasing, the governments have to improve transportation and facilities in
towns
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 to support
people
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. An additional merit is that the economic scale in the
cities
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 will expand, which means the government will get more tax
from
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revenue from
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 expenditures
such
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 as food and other things.
On the other hand
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, I would argue that these advantages are outweighed by the undesirable impacts. One of the obvious negatives of
this
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 issue is the lower population in rural
areas
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, especially farmers, because most rural
areas
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 have more farms than
cities
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.
This
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 will lead to a shortage of crops. Another negative aspect is that the price of accommodations in
towns
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 will rise compared to the past.
For example
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, Sydney is the city that has the most expensive rental rooms in the world because
people
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 from other countries move to
this
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 city, leading to a lack of accommodations. All things considered, I would like to reiterate that despite some positive aspects, it seems to me that the drawbacks of
people
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 leaving their rural
areas
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 are more significant for the reasons mentioned above.
Therefore
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, I would suggest that governments should support rural
people
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 to encourage them not to leave their
areas
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.

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coherence
Your stance is clear, but the links between ideas should be stronger. Show a clear path from the problem to the final view.
task
Answer the task with more full development. Add a better ending that matches your view.
grammar
Use simple, exact sentences. Check for grammar and word choice to avoid mistakes.
strength
Clear stance against rural depopulation
structure
Basic structure with introduction, body, and conclusion

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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