Some believe that violent computer games are just a form of entertainment, while others think they lead directly to violent behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #computer #games #form #entertainment #behavior

In the modern world, everyone can acquire information from their devices

such

as iPhones

throughout

Change preposition

through

show examples

the internet. The majority of individuals of all ages utilize the online platform for seeking knowledge rather than books or daily

magazines

. I strongly agree with

this

statement. My opinion will be illustrated in the following paragraph.

To begin

with,

people

can receive data whenever they are required by just typing in search engines

such

as Google and Safari. Electronic devices make information easier accessible anytime and anywhere, and

this

can help to decrease the greenhouse house or climate change caused by cutting trees

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and using the amount of water

that is

used in printed books or

magazines

For example

, my mom used to read daily news in the morning so she used her phone to search the news on Google

instead

of buying

magazines

Although

, Digital consumption of information is considered more environmentally friendly compared to printed materials. E-books and online

magazines

can be cheaper than their printed counterparts, and some digital resources are eventually free, so they might be suitable for

people

who have low

income

Fix the agreement mistake

incomes

show examples

For instance

, the student does not have a salary, but he

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to buy manga to read;

otherwise

this

leads to digital e-books that have manga for free.

To sum up

, Electronic devices can be more convenient for

people

who do not want to spend less money and time.

In addition

, I think that in the future

people

could use electronic products

instead

of books and

magazines

and will be

Change the word

apply

show examples

less than now.

Submitted by napatnp18065322 on Sat May 25 2024

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task response

The essay does not fully address the task prompt (discussing both views on violent computer games). Make sure to stay on topic and address all parts of the prompt.

task response

The essay mentions examples relevant to digital information sources, but it should provide specific examples related to the impact of violent computer games to fully meet the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that there's a logical flow between paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can help improve cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed about violent computer games, providing a clear statement on your opinion based on the arguments presented.

task response

The essay includes relevant examples and a clear opinion which is supported by explanations.

coherence cohesion

The introductory and concluding paragraphs are present and relevant to the topic of digital information sources, though not the task prompt.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that violent computer games are just a form of entertainment, while others think they lead directly to violent behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In future all cars, buses, and trucks will driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicales outweight the disadvantages?

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?