IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using sociak media for commucation outweigh the disadvantages?

The rise of social
media
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 has significantly influenced personal
relationships
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 and society.
While
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 some argue that it damages real-life interactions, I believe that the advantages of social
media
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 for communication outweigh its disadvantages. One of the most important benefits of social
media
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 is its ability to connect
people
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 regardless of geographical distance. In the past, maintaining
relationships
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 with friends or relatives living abroad was difficult and expensive.
However
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, platforms
such
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 as messaging applications and social networking sites now allow individuals to communicate instantly through text, voice, or video calls.
As a result
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, families and friends can maintain close
relationships
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 even when they live far apart.
This
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 has been particularly valuable in an increasingly
globalized
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globalised
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 world where
people
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 frequently move for education or employment. Another major advantage is that social
media
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 enables the rapid exchange of information and ideas. It allows users to share news, educational materials, and personal experiences with a global audience.
For instance
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, students can collaborate on academic projects, professionals can expand their networks, and communities can raise awareness about important social issues. In
this
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 way, social
media
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 plays a powerful role in spreading knowledge and encouraging public engagement. Despite these benefits, social
media
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also
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 has several drawbacks. One significant concern is that excessive use can reduce face-to-face communication and weaken real-life social skills. Some individuals may become overly dependent on online interaction, which can lead to feelings of loneliness or social isolation.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 can sometimes spread misinformation rapidly, which may negatively influence public opinion and decision-making.
Nevertheless
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, these disadvantages can be
minimized
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minimised
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 through responsible use and better digital literacy. When
people
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 use social
media
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 thoughtfully and balance online interaction with real-world
relationships
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, the benefits remain substantial. In conclusion,
although
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 social
media
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 presents certain challenges
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such
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, such
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 as reduced personal interaction and the spread of misinformation, its ability to connect
people
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 globally and facilitate communication makes it an invaluable tool in modern society.
Therefore
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, the advantages of social
media
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 clearly outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
For task response, you answer the question well and you give a clear view from start to end. To get a higher score, add one more deep idea about how social media hurts trust or mental health.
task response
For task response, your examples are good but a bit general. Try to add one more real and clear example from daily life or study.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. Each body part has one main idea. To do even better, use a few more linking words with care, such as 'on the one hand' and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your last two paragraphs are clear, but you can make the turn to the opposite side a little smoother with a short topic line.
task response
For task response, you fully answer the question and clearly say that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear and stay on the topic in all parts of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, a paragraph for the bad side, and a strong end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your points are in a good order, so the reader can follow your meaning easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stay in touch
  • long-distance communication
  • instant message
  • share updates
  • sense of connection
  • emotional support
  • cheap and convenient
  • spread information
  • public awareness
  • face-to-face interaction
  • weaker relationships
  • false comparison
  • mental stress
  • online abuse
  • fake news
  • loss of privacy
  • balanced use
  • use wisely
  • build relationships
  • harm society
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