IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from local farmers to protect the environment and help the local business. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Consumers receive
food
 from distant
countries
,
although
 a number of
people
 argue that we should purchase
food
 from domestic
farmers
 to contribute to environmental protection and boost local businesses.
This
 essay believes that the benefits of buying from local
farmers
 outweigh the drawbacks because,
although
 some
countries
 have
land
 limitations for producing enough
food
, by consuming organic
foods
 they can preserve their health. The main disadvantage of consuming locally produced
food
 is that it requires huge
land
 to be cultivated, and unfortunately, many
countries
 around the globe do not have that much
land
 to grow sufficient
food
 for their entire population;
nevertheless
,
people
 in these
countries
 rely on imports of
food
 from other
countries
 for the consumption.
For example
, the UAE does not have enough
land
 to produce
food
 for its
people
, so they are obliged to import
foods
 from other
countries
. One benefit of consuming organic
foods
 is that. They are healthy and pure,
while
 no chemical substance is used to boost their production.
On the other hand
, it assists rural families whose livelihoods really depend on farming and can benefit from it.
Additionally
, organic
food
 is cheaper compared to the
foods
 that are imported from foreign
countries
.
For instance
,
farmers
 are using traditional means of growing
foods
 on their lands, which is healthier compared to industrialized crops or
foods
 produced by machinery and chemical ingredients. In conclusion,
food
 that arrives far from distant nations can be replaced by local alternatives because organic
foods
 have health benefits
such
 as purity.
Farmers
 are not using any chemical substance to boost their production and contribution to local businesses;
in addition
 to
this
, some states do not have sufficient
land
 to grow
foods
, which seems that all
people
 are not fortunate enough to consume
food
 from local
farmers
.
Submitted by am.edrees on

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task achievement
While your essay effectively covers the prompt, providing a balanced discussion between advantages and disadvantages, consider strengthening your arguments with more specific data or examples. This will make your points even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure and flows well. However, ensure that all points are equally developed and supported, as some arguments could benefit from more elaboration.
coherence cohesion
Well-presented introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion appropriately.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly, weighing both sides of the argument and providing a clear stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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