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Band 3.5

Some believe that the government should not be responsible for combating environmental issues that the international companies should take the mantle. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

#believe #government #companies #mantle
There are
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 environmental issues are not the
government
's responsibility and
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 international
companies
 should take a step
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 it. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will discuss both perspectives before
conclude
Change the verb form
concluding
show examples
 it. On the one hand, some
people
 argue that only the
government
 who responsible for environmental issues in their countries. The
government
 have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to make
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 about
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and take preventive ways to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
people
 from damaging the
environment
such
 as
prohibited
Wrong verb form
prohibiting
show examples
 deforestry,
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
wildfire
Fix the agreement mistake
wildfires
show examples
 and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 biodiversity.
Moreover
, the
government
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 responsible
to overcome
Change preposition
for overcoming
show examples
 the
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
environment
 and
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
people
 to
perserve
Correct your spelling
preserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
On the other hand
, many international
companies
 build their factories in a foreign country and contribute to the
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
 in other countries. It is
undoudtedly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 that some international
companies
 damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature to open their lands and mines.
For instance
, in Papua, Indonesia, there are many mining
companies
 that open their mines by deforestry and
abondon
Correct your spelling
abandon
abandoned
 it once they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
. These irresponsible ways
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 harm
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and it is a necessity for the company to take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part in handling
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues.
To conclude
, both the
government
 and international
companies
 that open their factories in these countries should be responsible for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
companies
 often cause
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 and
abondon
Correct your spelling
abandon
 the lands.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task response
To improve your response, ensure that you address all parts of the task and develop your main points more thoroughly. Include more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that your ideas flow more smoothly and that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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