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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

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In contemporary society, an increasing number of individuals who are opting to have children later in life has sparked a degree of controversy among the public.
This
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 essay aims to examine several factors contributing to
this
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 trend and evaluate its benefits and drawbacks. There are a number of compelling reasons why young married couples decide to delay parenthood.
First,
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owing to intensifying competition in the
labor
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labour
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 market, many couples prioritize investing time, effort, and finances into their careers. It is evident that delaying childbirth allows couples to dedicate more hours and commitment to their work, leading to higher incomes.
Second,
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by recognizing the significant responsibility of raising children, some young people delay childbirth.
This
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 entails caring for their children, including feeding and educating them, and requires a great deal of perseverance and hard work, thereby discouraging many would-be parents. I believe that
this
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 trend might bring both advantages and disadvantages. As for the upside, those who postpone parenthood are likely to often have more time to accomplish tasks, whether in their professional or personal lives, contributing to an
overall
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 sense of happiness. In fact, studies indicate that individuals who engage in diverse activities and travel during their youth tend to experience higher levels of satisfaction compared to those who do not.
Nevertheless
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, it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks of delaying childbirth. Older women face an increased risk of health complications that can impact both maternal well-being and infant health. Research suggests that advanced maternal age is associated with a higher likelihood of birth defects and neurodevelopmental disorders
such
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 as autism. In conclusion,
while
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 delaying parenthood offers certain advantages,
such
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 as increased career focus and personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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, it
also
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 comes with risks related to maternal health and child development. By carefully weighing these factors, individuals can make informed decisions that align with their personal circumstances.

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task achievement
While your essay is well-structured and coherent, consider expanding on the examples provided to further support your arguments. Providing specific studies or quoting statistics can make your points even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is strong, but ensure every paragraph flows logically to the next. Using transitional phrases can help improve the flow and make your essay even more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
You introduced and concluded the essay excellently, providing a clear overview and summary of the discussed points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic, and your conclusion provides a thoughtful summary of your viewpoints.
task achievement
The essay is well-organized, with clear and comprehensive ideas presented in each paragraph.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported, making your arguments strong and convincing.
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