In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Although
intractable schoolchildren can be found in most educational settings, the behaviour
of school
pupils in many parts of the world has worsened in recent years. This
state of affairs can be attributed to several factors and this
essay will suggest several viable solutions to remedy the situation.
There are two main contributors to the way young people behave at school
nowadays. Chief of these is that with modern parents becoming increasingly too busy or permissive, children
often find it difficult to accept the demands of teachers or the limits imposed on them by school
rules. For example
, children
who are used to negligence or indulgence are likely to show disruptive behaviour
in class. Added to this
is the fact that children
are all too often influenced by the behaviour
of celebrities. This
can be seen in the way many teenagers think that success can be achieved without finishing school
or trying to act, talk or wear the way their idols do.
The problem of students misbehaving at school
can be addressed in a number of ways. An immediate remedy is for parents to use reasonable punishments to demonstrate that actions have consequences when their children
break the rules. These disciplinary techniques could range from depriving them of things that they treasure, such
as their favourite toys or TV shows, to stop
them from seeing their friends. Wrong verb form
stopping
In addition
, famous people, such
as musicians and football players, need to understand the responsibility that they have to act as good role models to children
. This
could be done by their managers, who need to make it abundantly clear to celebrities about how much influence they have on their fans.
In conclusion, the causes of schools increasingly facing discipline problems are parents' leniency and famous people's behaviour
, and the solutions lie in changing parents’ ways of disciplining their children
and the participation of high-profile public figures.Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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task achievement
While your essay presents a well-rounded discussion, you can further enhance your Task Response by providing more diverse examples specific to different cultures or regions. This will show you have considered multiple perspectives.
task achievement
To make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, try to delve deeper into the impact and reasoning behind each cause and solution. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from slightly more varied transitional phrases to avoid repetition and keep the reader engaged. For instance, instead of "added to this," you could use "another contributing factor".
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure that makes your essay easy to follow, which is a strong point.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly setting up and summarizing your key points.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay are well-supported with relevant examples, enhancing their impact.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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