IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that working from home is more beneficial for employees, while others argue that it reduces productivity and teamwork. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
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 some argue that remote jobs reduce
work
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 output and team collaboration, I believe that it is beneficial to employees because it promotes a better
work
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–life balance. On the one hand, working from
home
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 can result in reduced productivity and teamwork.
Firstly
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,
home
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 environments may be distracting,
in addition
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 to a lack of supervision can reduce discipline, resulting in low output.
Secondly
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, Limited face-to-face interaction can make it harder for team members to bond.
This
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 can weaken the team relationships. A prime example is when the Government of Ghana in 2024 instructed all civil servants to stop working remotely and return to working from the office.
This
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 was because it was noticed that the staff were using their working hours for leisure.
In addition
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, these employees couldn’t identify themselves outside
work
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 because of the minimal interaction.
On the other hand
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, remote jobs can create a better
work
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-life balance for employees. Daily commuting can be tedious and mentally draining.
For instance
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, people who use public transport and live far away from their offices spend time shuttling to
work
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. Sometimes, to resume at 9 am, they depart from their homes 2 hours earlier.
This
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 gives them less time for family and personal responsibilities.
In contrast
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, permitting these workers to
work
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 remotely can reduce stress, which will result in improved well-being. In conclusion,
although
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 working remotely can lead to reduced workload
due to
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 the distractions at
home
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, I believe that restricting these members of staff to office
work
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 can affect their social life, and it's preferable to
work
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 from
home
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 as it saves commuting time.

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task
Make a clear plan in the opening paragraph that says you will discuss both views and give your own view at the end.
coherence
Use more varied and natural linking words to show contrast and addition so the essay flows better.
grammar
Check grammar and word form and try to keep sentences simple and direct.
vocabulary
Add a wider range of specific examples and explain how they show the point.
content
The essay gives a clear view and sticks to it.
structure
There is a direct use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show views.
example
Some concrete examples are used, like commuting and a real country example.
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