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Writing Samples
Band 6

People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion

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It is true in the present era, more and more communities consider that academic excellence is dependent on the best
teacher
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. Others argue it limits the behaviour of
learners
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.
This
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 essay will delve into
this
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 phenomenon, by supporting relevant examples, and insight. First of all, educational success depends on the first time for the
teacher
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. So when the teachers have good knowledge about her/his course, that helps
students
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 to understand that course, not only that, but
also
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 if the
teacher
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 deals with her/his
learners
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 in a good
way
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, will help
students
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 to deal with her/him in the best
way
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, and that helps them to work hard in their education.
For instance
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, my sister is a
teacher
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, and she loves her
students
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 and daily gives them a bit of good advice, How can get a good mark, and how can achieve your dream? all those things help her
students
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 to love her course, and now all the
learners
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 succeed in their
studies
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.
On the other hand
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, people who learn in schools or universities should help themselves to become successful in their
studies
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.
Moreover
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, should not depend on the
teacher
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 only, but should depend on themselves and work hard in their
study
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.
Also
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, should try to learn and search for different information from different sources, because that helps them to become excellent at their academic level.
For example
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, A
study
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 published at New York University concluded that 90% of
students
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 who depend on themselves in their
study
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 they get a good degree in their
studies
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. So that all
learners
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 if they want to achieve their dreams in the future should work hard in academic
study
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. In conclusion, the outcomes of
this
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 phenomenon are not limited to teachers only, but
also
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 to
students
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 and society in general.
Also
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, teachers should do their opportunities in a good
way
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 with the
students
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, to help them to succeed in their
studies
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.
Furthermore
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,
learners
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 should respect their
teacher
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 and help them to teach in a good
way
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide more clear examples or cases that directly illustrate your points to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of your ideas between paragraphs to enhance coherence, ensuring each point smoothly transitions to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy, and avoid run-on sentences to improve readability.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which is a strength in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusions effectively summarize your main points and state your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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