In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?
In recent
year
, in many urban countries, bicycles Fix the agreement mistake
years
are
replaced by Wrong verb form
have been
cars
. While
in other cities, they do the opposite. The reason for this
is the convience
of Correct your spelling
convenience
car
, Fix the agreement mistake
cars
whereas
, many people thinks
that Change the verb form
think
cars
can have negative
impact on Add an article
a negative
environment
. The Add an article
the environment
writter
would Correct your spelling
writer
rather
second opinion because of the Change the article
rather a
a rather
healthy
improvement brought Replace the word
health
to
by bikes.
The primary reason for the replacement of Change preposition
about
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
toward
Change preposition
with
bike
is the speed Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
along with
preventing drivers from weather
. Add an article
the weather
Human
find it very convenient to use Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
car
Correct article usage
a car
commuting
to Change the verb form
to commute
place
because the time spent Correct article usage
a place
for
moving will be shorter than Change preposition
apply
by
bicycles thanks to the difference Change preposition
on
of
speed. Not only that, Change preposition
in
cars
have proof which can avoid the harsh conditions making the driver being uncomfortable as well as
the trip will be more easy
Replace the words
easier
due to
creating the atsmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
can
be suitable for individuals.
Correct pronoun usage
that can
However
, some people suppose that vehicles emit large
Correct article usage
a large
amout
of gas affecting the environment negatively. To explain Correct your spelling
amount
amounts
further
, cars
are actived
by the internal combustion engine using fuel to Correct your spelling
activated
releash
energy, simultaneously, emitting Correct your spelling
release
the
harmful gas which can increase Correct article usage
apply
the
pollution impacting human health in negative ways. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, Correct article usage
a bicyle
bicyle
can be the best choice because of Correct your spelling
bicycle
using
Wrong verb form
uses
the
human strength for riding.
The second opinion would be more beneficial to the riders. By using human Correct article usage
apply
physic
, they can improve health Fix the agreement mistake
physics
during
riding the bikes meaning increasing physical strength. Change preposition
while
According to
some research conducted in Dutch, it is said that the rates of common diseases among human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
decrease
dramatically thanks to the new policies applied by Wrong verb form
decreased
government
towards some bikes. For that reason, more people Add an article
the government
using
Wrong verb form
use
Add an article
the bike
a bike
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
for improving
resistance for Change preposition
to improve
againsting
some Correct your spelling
against
virus
.
In conclusion, many cities prefer using Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
car
to Fix the agreement mistake
cars
bike
because Wrong verb form
biking
the
convenience it Change preposition
of the
bring
to Change the verb form
brings
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
while
other
would rather bicycle as the best for choice not only for Fix the agreement mistake
others
environment
Add an article
the environment
also
Correct word choice
but also
human
.Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
There are some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases. For example, it's better to say 'In recent years' instead of 'In recent year', and 'previous opinion' instead of 'second opinion.' Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.
clarity
Try to rephrase sentences to make them clearer and more natural. For instance, 'The primary reason for the replacement of car toward bike' could be improved to 'The primary reason for the replacement of cars with bikes.'
vocabulary
Use more precise words and phrases to convey your points. For instance, 'proof' should be 'roof' and 'creating the atsmosphere' should be 'creating a comfortable atmosphere.'
content
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, discussing reasons for using cars as well as bikes.
content
You offer a clear opinion on which you believe is better, supported by reasoning related to health benefits.
structure
The structure of your arguments is logical, with clear distinctions between the reasons for preferring cars or bikes.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.