IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Several
museums
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ask for an entry fee for their visitor,
whereas
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some of them give no
charge
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at all.
However
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,
this
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seems to be quite arguable for the public. In
this
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essay, I will explain some benefits given by an administration fee to the visitor that surpass the drawbacks. The paid
museums
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use their admission
charge
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as a main income for the art's maintenance cost. Arts
such
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as sculptures, artefacts, or paintings that have been curated in a
museum
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must be popular, meaningful, and precious.
Nevertheless
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, since they are fragile objects, the
museum
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's committee should keep them in a very well condition so they could be long-lasting and able to be seen by future generations.
Moreover
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, we know that
museums
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have been used as an educational resource for schools to illustrate past phenomena. Other than that, the
charge
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will
also
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enable the committee to hold an interesting event and make the walk-in journey more interactive for the visitors. As an impact, the visitors could be both educated and entertained when go to the
museum
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.
This
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means paying an admission fee will become a way to preserve the artefact
as well as
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increase the
experience
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.
However
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, the idea of a paid
museum
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could make it less attractive to a particular segment of customers. They will continuously compare it to the free one and make reasons to not look in.
This
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most likely happens to the group that doesn't value art and history and just goes there for fun. As an impact, the
museums
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will lose some of their previous customers. To handle
this
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situation, they could offer not only a sightseeing
experience
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, but
also
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a live attraction,
such
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as music, guards with costumes, narrative speakers, or movies that relate to the object. With
this
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method, people who at first are reluctant because of the money will think it is a valuable
experience
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that is
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worth the cost. In conclusion, an admission
charge
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will benefit the
museum
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and the customer as well. The
museum
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will have an income for maintenance and to please the customer.
On the other hand
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, the transition from free to paid would risk them a loss of visitors, but as long as the
museum
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is able to offer a new
experience
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, it will attract the right customers.

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task achievement
The essay generally addresses the prompt well, presenting both sides of the argument and providing a stance. However, some arguments could be developed further with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear primary idea and that transitions between ideas are smooth. The essay has a good structure but could benefit from clearer topic sentences in some paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, making the argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes relevant specific examples to support its main points, enhancing the argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fees
  • Revenue generation
  • Facilities
  • Exhibits
  • Maintenance and preservation
  • Artifacts
  • Exclusive exhibitions
  • Temporary exhibitions
  • Overcrowding
  • Equitable access
  • Discounted rates
  • Educational experience
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