Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

The number of individuals testing

alternative

remedies

for their

health

problems

instead

of meeting their

doctor

has been increasing these days.

This

trend is negative which I will consider now.

Firstly

, the effectiveness of

alternative

medicine

like traditional

health

treatment has not been proven. In fact, as traditional

remedies

do not have scientific roots, using them can cause severe problems not only for our

health

but

also

for our mental

health

For example

while

many local

people

believe saffron can reduce the risk of cancer, research has shown that using a substantial volume of saffron does not have any impact on cancer but it

also

increases our stress level if it is used excessively. Another important reason why using

alternative

medicine

hurts our

health

system is Relying on

alternative

medicine

may delay the diagnosis of serious medical conditions.it is possible

people

using

alternative

remedies

feel relief for the short term but during

this

time disease can progress very soon so that it is not controlled by master doctors.

For instance

, when the coronavirus pandemic happened, many

people

preferred to cure themselves with herbal or home

remedies

instead

of visiting a

doctor

, after a

while

, their disorder was out of control and they lost their lives. In conclusion, from my point of view,

alternative

medicine

does not rote in science, using it can raise the risk of death, so the sooner

people

visit a

doctor

, the sooner the

doctor

diagnoses their disease.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun May 26 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a relevant position with a clear answer to the question. However, there is a need for more depth in the analysis. Try to include more specific examples and elaborate on each point to provide a more comprehensive response.

coherence and cohesion

The essay needs a smoother flow between ideas. Some sentences are disconnected or abrupt, disrupting the coherence. Use transition words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical structure of the essay. Ensure each paragraph only covers one main idea and that ideas are clearly introduced and concluded.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.

task achievement

The examples provided are relevant to the topic and help illustrate the main points.

task achievement

You have a clear stance on the issue, which makes the essay's argument strong and straightforward.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many businesses think that the new employees who have just graduated from schools lack interpersonal skills, such as working with colleagues as a team. What has caused this and what are the solutions to this problem?

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Some Cities have vehicle free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation likes buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?