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Band 7.5

The environment changes rapidly because humans are destroying nature to meet their needs. Discuss this cause of environmental change and suggest some solutions for this problem.

#environment #changes #humans #nature #change
Regarding humans being a part of the earth,
people
 have faced various natural disasters,
such
 as drought, flood, and wildfire.
Although
 they naturally occur, they frequently rage and largely destroy humanity's cities and villages and they become more intimidating than before because of human beings' defilement for the environment. As everyone knows, "Global warming" brings about rising sea levels, extreme climate indirectly, and so on because of humanity's activities,
for example
, companies build plenty of factories which emit a lot of exhaust.
Besides
, those gases involve carbon dioxide and methane which is the source of global warming.
As a result
, we could find that the frequency of extreme weather events has considerably increased since industrialization.
Moreover
, humankind
also
 degrades the habitats of many species. Some organizations exploit a number of areas by establishing plantations or plants in order to earn large quantities of benefits.
Therefore
, it causes animals and plants to be homeless and even extinct. Concerning these situations, how do
people
 can prohibit environmental change? The first thing the government can do is to make strict laws related to the protection of the environment and those regulations must be conducted thoroughly.
Additionally
, many countries' authorities can collaborate, help, and fund underprivileged regions in which their land is prone to be plundered by poachers and others.
In addition
, there are other methods that can reduce harm to the earth, like the constrain to enterprises and consortiums.
Also
, raising the awareness of the need for environmental conservation. In a nutshell, if
people
 do not strive to iron out these environmental issues, the pernicious results caused by global warming will fall upon us. Ultimately,
people
 have to spend a fortune on the recovery of the surroundings and compensate for financial loss.
Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to illustrate points, such as mentioning specific factories or policies that have successfully reduced emissions.
task achievement
Ensure consistent use of terminology related to environmental issues, such as distinguishing between ‘global warming’ and ‘climate change’.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure with clear paragraphs focusing on different aspects of the problem.
task achievement
Main points are supported with general examples and explanations, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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