Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

At
this
current time,
while
some
people
believe that violent content in
films
and computer
games
has a negative effect on society, others say that they are harmless and help
people
to relax. In my opinion, these violent scenes have undesirable consequences for young children. On the one hand,
films
and computer
games
that contain violence are considered one of the methods of entertainment. Most
people
need to relax and find pleasure in playing or watching movies that increase adrenaline levels after their work. An eminent example, many students surrounding the world play Resident Evil online together on their weekends, which helps them to get rid of excess energy .
As a result
, what can be said is that violent entertainment is considered
harmles
Correct your spelling
harmless
since the majority of
people
have no difficulty distinguishing between fiction and reality.
On the other hand
, Violent video
games
and
films
have negative outcomes
such
as suicide and crime.
In other words
, the crime rate has increased lately with the spread of violent
games
and
films
.
For instance
, shootings in schools in the United States Of America have been more common these days compared to the past.
Thus
, we can not turn a blind eye to the shocking consequences of violent
games
for our children’s future. In conclusion, by highlighting the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that
films
and computer
games
have both benign and malignant effects on our children and youth.
Moreover
, parents should definitely take care of what their children are watching
due to
the considerable impact on their mental and psychological health.
Submitted by ahmedteleb500 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic effectively, but there are some areas where further development can enhance clarity. Try to elaborate your points with more specific and varied examples.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, but some transitions between points could be smoother. Work on creating clearer connections between your paragraphs to provide a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.

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