children spend a lot of time watching tv and playing computer games, however it does not improve their mental abilities. do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #tv #computer #games #abilities

It is true that in

this

day and age, opinion is divided over whether digital devices have a negative impact on youth mental abilities. In

this

essay, I will look at both sides of

this

debate

as well as

offer my own point of view. Turning first of all to the arguments in favour of

this

idea, it goes without saying that cultivating values through TV dramas and TV shows enriches individual life and has a positive impact on people's spirituality. At the same time, it is crucial to acknowledge that not all TV programs and computer games are created equal. Educational shows and interactive games designed specifically for children can provide valuable learning experiences. As far as the other side of

this

debate is concerned, it goes without saying that electric devices are recognized as addictive.

Furthermore

, using a dependence on gadgets in the early life stage could lead to anxiety, depression, and attention problems. It may

also

be worth noting that digital gadgets can detract from homework and study time, potentially leading to poorer academic results.

Moreover

, teenagers lose their opportunity to have a conversation face to face, which is crucial to developing social skills and manners. By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of

this

debate.

However

, I am of the opinion that in the grand scheme of things, the negative effects of electronic devices on children's mental development outweigh the positive effects.

Submitted by yusei.nakano on Sun May 26 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction effectively outlines the debate and clearly states that you will provide your own point of view. However, you could make your stance a bit clearer at the beginning to provide a stronger framework for your argument.

task achievement

While you provide arguments for both sides, your points would benefit from more specific examples or data to strengthen your claims.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows well into the next.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each idea is fully developed and avoid overly general statements. For example, you mention that digital devices can detract from homework time, but providing an example or a study to back this up would be more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good command of the English language with varied sentence structures and appropriate vocabulary.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion reiterates the main points of the essay and clearly states your stance, summarizing the argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
sedentary behavior
obesity
academic performance
social skills
mental health
attention problems
creativity
imagination
face-to-face interactions

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children spend a lot of time watching tv and playing computer games, however it does not improve their mental abilities. do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people claim that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. While others think that they can establish a minority community instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

"Many animal species in the world has become extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protects these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems of human being. Discuss both view and give your opinion"

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences and only governmental actions can solve the problem. Do you agree views and express your own opinion

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling.