Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?
A lot of employed
individuals
are diagnosed with health issues because of lack of exercise especially during the working day or in their leisure time
. This
is the growing concern of many people
nowadays, and which have to be solved.
There could be many reasons why individuals
choose to neglect to do exercises, getting too tired from the job or perhaps not finding enough time
. For instance
, nowadays companies expect their employees to work for extended hours during the day in order to get promotions. So people
spend more hours in the office, which consumes their power and leaves them with no time
for going gym. Moreover
, some individuals
can become lazy after returning back to their house from work because of their comfort zone.
One possible solution to this
problem could be having a gym in the workplace area. Many companies offer fitness centres at the workplace to their employees in order to keep them fit. Another solution could be to encourage them through awareness programs, showing them how not doing exercise can lead to health diseases. For example
, sitting on a chair for a long time
while
doing work can cause back pain which later on leads to permanent cracks in the spinal cord. Such
kind of information should be shared with people
and make them aware of these threads.
To sum up
, working individuals
decide to neglect exercise because they tend to get tired or can find no time
, and they get lazy after coming home. However
, providing awareness among people
by passing on the data on how dangerous it would be to be unhealthy and as well as
making a gym at the workplace may help to solve this
problem.Submitted by hassan05.quadri on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, aim to strengthen the logical structure of your essay. For instance, the points about personal reasons for not exercising and the solutions could be more explicitly connected. Some sentences can be more effectively linked with transitional phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Therefore.'
task achievement
Further develop your examples to make them more specific and relevant. For instance, rather than saying 'companies expect their employees to work for extended hours,' provide concrete details such as 'a survey showed that 60% of employees work more than 10 hours a day.' This will make your points more convincing.
task achievement
You have effectively provided a complete response to the task, covering both why people do not exercise and potential solutions for this problem. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are clear and provide a good framework for your discussion. This helps the reader understand the scope and direction of your argument.