IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
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Advancement technology and its contributions solve easily and swiftly many issues of humans. Nowadays, the majority of
people
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 pay with
credit
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cards
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 when they go shopping or for other expenses. I believe there are far more advantages to paying with
this
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 method than its disadvantages, which will be analyzed in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, paying with
credit
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cards
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 can be considered
drawback
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a drawback
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 in some aspects. The most remarkable is that a type of paying ways leads to online theft, which has gained popularity among
people
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, these days.
In other words
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,
credit
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cards
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 are not secure sometimes, a lot of
people
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 likely access others’ bank accounts without permission.
For instance
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, hackers easily access to easily bank accounts of ordinary citizens and steal millions of dollars.
Hence
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,
although
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 using
credit
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cards
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 may have negative sides, there are more advantages.
On the other hand
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, paying with plastic
cards
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 is considered far more merits as it undoubtedly provides a wide range of benefits to countless
people
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. Needless to
say
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say,
show examples
credit
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cards
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 are more suitable for
people
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 as an abundant amount of money in the wallet being is not necessary. To be more specific, a person cannot take a lot of money with you in your wallet, and with a plastic card, there can be any amount, even if available on unlimited
cards
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.
For example
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, when individuals buy an expensive home or car, they cannot pay with cash as it’s a wide range of money and it weighs a lot.
As a result
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,
people
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 may buy anything or expend purchases at any time, thanks to
credit
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cards
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. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that paying with plastic
cards
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 has brought far more advantages rather than disadvantages, and it seems that paying with
credit
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cards
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 is convenient and suitable for the population.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify your main points and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence by using more varied linking phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammar and word choice inaccuracies to strengthen clarity and precision.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages, ensuring a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving a clear framework to the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples such as the issue of hacking and large purchases like homes and cars add depth to the points discussed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
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