IN SOME COUNTRIES, THERE HAS BEEN AN INCREASE IN THE NUMBER OF PARENTS WHO ARE CHOOSING TO EDUCATE THEIR CHILDRENTEHMSELVES AT HOME INSTEAD OF SENDING THEM TO SCHOOL. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF HOME EDUCATION OUTWEIGHT THE DISADVANTAGES.

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IN AN EVER-PROGRESSIVE SOCIETY, HOMESCHOOLING IS NOW A NEW PRIORITY
WHILE
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STUDYING AT SCHOOL HAS LOST ITS SIGNIFICANCE IN SOME PARENT'S PERCEPTION. IN LIGHT OF
THIS
Linking Words
, THE AUTHOR CONTEND THAT THE DRAWBACK OF DRAWBACK OF DEFICIENCY IN PROPER EDUCATION STRATEGIES AND
TIME
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WASTING OUTWEIGH THE BENEFIT OF MORE CARE
IS
Wrong verb form
BEING
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PROVIDED. IT IS VITAL TO UNDERSTAND THAT LACKING
OF
Remove the preposition
apply
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EDUCATIONAL LESSONS WILL SIGNIFICANTLY AFFECT ONE'S CHILD STUDY PROCESS.
IN OTHER WORDS
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, SOME
PARENTS
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MAY NOT MAJORED IN EDUCATIONAL FIELDS OR
LACKING
Wrong verb form
LACK
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SPECIALISED KNOWLEDGE AND TEACHING EXPERIENCE.
AS A RESULT
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OF
THISM
Correct your spelling
THIS
THE POTENTIAL OF TEACHING IN AN INAPPROPRIATE DIRECTION WILL RISE. TAKING MY NEIGHBOUR AS AN EXAMPLE, THE
PARENTS
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TRY TO PROMULGATE ACADEMIC LESSONS BUT
DUE TO
Linking Words
LACKING
Replace the word
LACK
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OF SPECIALIED
EXPERITISES
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EXPERIENCE
, THEIR CHILD HARDLY EVER FULLY ABSORB THE LESSONS. SOME PEOPLE,
HOWEVER
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,
JUSTIDIED
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JUSTIFIED
THAT TAKING HOMESCHOOLING WILL BRING MORE EFFICIENCY AS THE
PARENTS
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CAN KEEP TRACK OF THE STUDY PROGRESS MORE CAREFULLY.
THIS
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BELIEF IS BASED ON THE COMMON THINK THAT
PARENTS
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CAN
ASSURE
Verb problem
ENSURE
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ALL THE NECESSARITIES THAT THEIR SONS ARE NEEDED.
THIS
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IS A CREDIBLE POINT, BUT TEACHING STRATEGIES NOWADAYS ARE PLANNED BY THOSE WHO ARE THE MOST INTELLIGENT ,
THEREFORE
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, THE STUDENT DEMANDS ABOUT
HEALH
Correct your spelling
HEALTH
AND STUDY ARE ALL CALCULATED SOPHISTICATEDLY. ANOTHER DISADVANTAGE WORTH CONSIDERING IS THAT PROMULGATING ACADEMIC EXERCISES AT HOME MIGHT OCCUPY MOST OF THE
TIME
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. TO BE SPECIFIC, THE
TIME
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FAMILIAL MEMBERS SPEND
FOR
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ON
show examples
EDUCATING WILL BE ENLAGRED
CONTINOUSLY
Correct your spelling
CONTINUOUSLY
AS THE KNOWLEDGE TEND TO BE MORE AND MORE COMPLEX. AS THE NATURAL OUTCOME OF
THIS
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, THOSE WHO
CHOOSING
Wrong verb form
CHOOSE
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HOMESCHOOLING WILL SPEND MORE
TIME
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TO ENSURE THEIR CHILDREN FULLY GRAPSE THE EXPERTISE AND LOSING TO CONDUCT OTHER NECESSARY WORKS. TO EXEMPLIFY
THIS
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STATEMENT, TAKING MY RELATIVES AS A REMARKABLE INSTANCE, MY CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE TO GIVE UP HOME STUDYING AS IT AFFECT SEVERELY TO FAMILY FINANCE. TAKING ALL POINTS INTO ACCOUNT, THE MERIT OF SUFFICIENT CARE IS OUTWEIGHED BY THE DEMERITS OF
TIME
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-CONSUMED AND USING UNSUITABLE TATIC.
THEREFORE
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, IT HAS BEEN CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED THAT FAMILY MEMBERS SHOULD PRIORITIZE SCHOOL LEARNING.
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task achievement
While your essay does address the topic, it would benefit from more in-depth analysis and a clearer stance. Currently, your arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack detailed reasoning.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main point supported with detailed evidence. This will help to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Strive to maintain logical flow within and between your paragraphs. Currently, some transitions between ideas are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Begin and end with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. You've done this reasonably well but aim for a stronger summation of your arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have succeeded in writing an essay that broadly covers the topic of homeschooling versus traditional schooling. This shows an understanding of the prompt, which is critical.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, giving it a structured feel. This helps the reader follow your argument even if the transitions can be improved.
task achievement
Examples such as those of your neighbor and relatives provide personal touchpoints that enhance the relevance of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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