While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Due to
a shortage of hands-on workers
, many people
says
that students should get vocational education Change the verb form
say
instead
of going to academic college. I personally agree with this
statement, especially considering the vital role in society
development and its Change noun form
society's
job
opportunities.
First of all, society needs hands-on workers
to function smoothly and develop stably. Specifically, most of our public and private infrastructures require electricians, plumbers, or carpenters to repair, construct, and maintain. As these constructions are crucial to the effective function of businesses and people
, the role of people
taking care of them is also
important. By encouraging more students do
vocational training, we can fill up these critical positions with qualified Fix the infinitive
to do
workers
. By 2014, Department
of Construction in Vietnam Correct article usage
the Department
has
increased the minimum wage of hands-on Wrong verb form
had
workers
and supported the establishments
of Fix the agreement mistake
establishment
vactional
schools, thereby ensuring the number of individuals entering Correct your spelling
vocational
this
working fields every year.
Correct determiner usage
these
Moreover
, its job
opportunities is
worth Change the verb form
are
to consider
. Unlike other professions Change the verb form
considering
such
as digital marketing or online administration, where the new graduates struggle to find jobs revelant
with their qualifications; Correct your spelling
relevant
people
getting vactional
education are specifically Correct your spelling
vocational
oritented
to specialise Correct your spelling
oriented
at
one Change preposition
in
job
that the businesses require, so that their skills can satisfy all the requirements of businesses, resulting in immediate employment even though they have just graduated. In Germany, it takes about two weeks for a new graduate from vocational schools
getting their first Fix the agreement mistake
school
job
in their desired fields
.
In conclusion, I advocate Fix the agreement mistake
field
with
the encouragement of getting Change preposition
apply
vacational
training, especially considering its critical influence Correct your spelling
vocational
to
the development of society and its provided Change preposition
on
job
opportunities compared to other fields.Submitted by anhtailongkhanh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Ensure to check for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., "many people says" should be "many people say," "vactional" should be "vocational," and "revelant" should be "relevant").
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more specific examples and data to enhance credibility.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using more cohesive devices. This will make your essay easier to follow.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint, which is good for setting up the discussion.
task response
You provided relevant examples from Vietnam and Germany to support your argument, which helps in illustrating your points.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, providing a strong closing to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.