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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about male and female gym memberships between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about male and female gym memberships between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #gym #memberships #features #comparisons
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The given chart illustrates the comparison between men and women being
gymnastic
Replace the word
gymnastics
show examples
members
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be evident easily that male memberships saw a downward trend over a time frame,
however
Linking Words
, the female ones saw a reverse change after a survey. In 1980, the number of
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
 memberships was above 2000 people and increased to 4000 individuals in 1985 before undergoing a decreased experience to nearly 1500
members
Use synonyms
 in 1995. In the following years, the data on
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 reached a peak at 5000 people in 2005
then
Linking Words
 plummeted sharply to about 500
members
Use synonyms
 in the final year. In terms of the women's data,
although
Linking Words
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the starting number
less
Add a missing verb
was less
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 than the men's
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, at only 1000
members
Use synonyms
, it rose significantly to reach a peak
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 nearly 3000 people in 1995. After that, the figure for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 went down lightly to over 2000
members
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and reached a peak again in 2005 before accounting for in the vicinity of 2000 individuals in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words members with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • steady increase
  • pronounced difference
  • converge
  • diverge
  • membership rate
  • significant growth
  • slump
  • dominant trend
  • predominantly
  • consistent pattern
  • noteworthy
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