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Band 6.5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, many schools have made it compulsory for children to take up art and craft classes. It is often argued whether these subjects are as crucial as the other
subject
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subjects
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 for a child’s
overall
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 development, which is why they are considered mandatory in their curriculum. I agree that these are extremely vital for students, and
this
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 essay will elucidate my assertions in the forthcoming paragraphs. Art and craft bring about creativity in an individual’s life.
Therefore
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, exposing pupils to these aspects enhances their cognitive abilities and creative skills.
For instance
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, it was observed that when Delhi University included activities like drawing and painting in their institute, wards outperformed in their practical assignments as they could align their thoughts better and improve on their imagination.
Therefore
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, these topics help students to upgrade their creativity and skill development.
Moreover
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, these days, many
offsprings
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offspring
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 face a lot of stress and peer pressure because of increasing competition.
Due to
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this
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, they feel depressed and go through self-doubt. Art and technique relax one’s mind and
relaxes
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relax
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 stress hormones.
For example
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,
while
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 treating kids who go through depression, psychologists use drawing and painting as therapy.
This
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 not only benefits children since it is considered a form of meditation, but
also
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 doctors use it as a part of their analysis.
Thus
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, if we make these tutorials compulsory at educational institutes, it will help children to feel stress-free. To summarise, with the growing amount of competition and pressure on youngsters, it is necessary to expose them to craft and creativity so that they feel rejuvenated.
Further
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, it will help them to develop their talent and
also
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 act as meditation.
Therefore
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, even though there are many controversies regarding
this
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, I firmly believe that it must be made mandatory in all educational institutions for the holistic growth and prosperity of students.

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stylistic
Be mindful of redundancy in phrases, such as using 'relax one's mind and relaxes stress hormones'. Consider rephrasing to avoid repetition.
structural
Ensure clearer transitions between ideas to improve logical flow even further.
content
The introduction clearly outlines the position and the essay effectively supports this stance.
support
Good use of examples, such as the reference to Delhi University's experience and the use of art in therapy, which add depth to the argument.
structural
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the author’s position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Visual-spatial skills
  • Fine motor skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Creative thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Historical context
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Teamwork
  • Collaboration
  • Self-esteem
  • Sense of accomplishment
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