Some people say that in order to prevent illnesses and diseases, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and improving living conditions. Do you agree or disagree?
Some believe that
governments
should concentrate on alleviating environmental contamination and improving quality of life in order to deter illnesses and diseases
. I fully agree that pollution and poor living conditions
have detrimental impacts on people’s
health, so governments
should put every effort into the prevention of illnesses and infections for a healthier population and long-term benefits.
It is obvious that there are many negative effects on people’s
bodies that are the result of environmental pollution and deprived living conditions
. First,
pollutants in the surroundings can directly affect human health. For example
, the increase in the amount of exhaust fumes in the atmosphere causes air pollution, which is the primary culprit of lethal respiratory diseases
such
as asthma or lung cancer. Second,
being detrimentally affected by harmful pollutants, people’s
immune systems can be weakened. This
makes humans more susceptible to infections and chronic diseases
. Finally
, poor living conditions
directly contribute to the spread of contagious sicknesses. Overcrowded housing, for instance
, means that people are in close contact with each other, which works in tandem with inadequate personal hygiene to facilitate the spread of airborne diseases
like colds and flu.
Therefore
, so as to improve overall
public health quality, I firmly believe that governments
should concentrate on decreasing environmental contamination and making living conditions
better. Obviously, prevention is cheaper and easier than cure. Instead
of curing with enormous cost, governments
should raise people’s
awareness about protecting the habitat, like clearing the trash around their living habitats, planting more trees and recycling. Besides
, a healthy environment fosters a healthy population, which is essential for long-term human well-being. By spending money on cleaner and more sustainable technologies or renewable energy sources, governments
can help reduce contamination and lessen waste and pollutants released into the environment.
In conclusion, I believe that investments made in depolluting the surroundings and improving the quality of life of the people are the most optimal methods of preventing illnesses.Submitted by anhpham.712688 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task with clear and comprehensive ideas that are well-supported by relevant examples. However, to achieve an even higher score, you can consider expanding on some points and providing more detailed explanations or evidence.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is strong, and there's a smooth flow of ideas with logical progression from one point to another. For further improvement, you could work on more varied and sophisticated transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which effectively frame the discussion and summarize the main points.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported by specific and relevant examples, which strengthens the argument and provides clarity.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!