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modern technology has become an important part of people's lives around the world. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #part #people #lives #world #outweigh
In
this
 digital era, modern
technology
 has played a vital role in
people
's lives. The writer of
this
 essay believes that the benefits of
this
 including saving
time
 and supporting
people
 in studying outweigh the reliance on
technology
. The most advantageous factor of advanced
technology
 is saving
time
. Nowadays, a lot of smart devices have been invented to help
people
 do simple work. These inventions
also
 provide
time
 for users to do important projects. The most common machine being used is the washing machine. It
also
 helps their owners to wash the dishes and reduce unnecessary
time
. Another
pros
Replace the adjective
pro
show examples
 of modern
technology
 is supporting studying.
This
technology
 encourages learners to think more creatively. It must be recognized that the development of
technology
also
 provides more sources of information.
People
 can easily find the knowledge
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they need on the internet or use AI to find the information. Take chat GPT as an example,
this
 application provides a massive amount of information to
people
 and
also
 helps them to find the answers that they need.
In contrast
, there are some cons of modern
technology
. One of those is the replacement.
Due to
 the convenience of
technology
, a lot of companies have applied it and it leads to unemployment.
This
 issue may become a social devil. Take countries in Europe as an example, a lot of
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 prefer using machines to
people
 to save money. In conclusion,
while
 there are some disadvantages the advantages are still more.
Therefore
,
this
 writer believes that advanced
technology
 outweighs its drawbacks.
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Grammar
Try to avoid minor mistakes such as 'Another pros' which should be 'Another pro' or 'Another advantage.' Also, 'a lot of business prefer' should be 'a lot of businesses prefer.'
Task Achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully supported with detailed explanations and examples. For instance, when discussing the disadvantages, more specific details and examples about how technology leads to unemployment would strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow. For example, when moving from discussing advantages to disadvantages, clearer transitional phrases would help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Relevance
The main points are relevant to the topic and provide a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages of modern technology.
Specific Examples
The use of specific examples such as the washing machine and chat GPT enhances the reader's understanding of the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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