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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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The primary aim of
science
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 should indeed be to improve people's lives.
While
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 acknowledging the negative impacts of scientific advancements, it is crucial to highlight the significant benefits that
science
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 brings to humanity.
Firstly
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, it is undeniable that scientific progress has sometimes led to adverse effects.
For instance
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, industrialisation and technological advancements have contributed to environmental pollution and resource depletion.
Additionally
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, the misuse of scientific discoveries,
such
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 as nuclear weapons, poses severe threats to global security. These examples illustrate that
science
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 can have detrimental consequences if not managed responsibly.
However
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, the positive contributions of
science
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 to human life are far more substantial. One of the most significant benefits is the enhancement of living standards. The advent of smartphones,
for example
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, has revolutionised communication, making it more convenient and efficient.
This
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 technological innovation has not only improved personal connectivity but
also
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 facilitated access to information and services, thereby elevating the
overall
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 quality of life.
Moreover
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, the pursuit of scientific knowledge itself is a noble endeavour. The discovery of Einstein's theory of relativity,
although
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 not directly improving daily life, has profoundly impacted the field of physics and expanded our understanding of the universe.
This
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 pursuit of truth and knowledge is an essential aspect of
science
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, driving progress and innovation across various domains. In conclusion,
while
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science
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 can have negative impacts, its primary aim should be to improve people's lives. The advancements in technology and the pursuit of knowledge both contribute significantly to
this
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 goal, making
science
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 an indispensable tool for human progress.
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task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider addressing the counterarguments more comprehensively and provide more detailed evidence or examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph smoothly leads to the next to achieve better flow and coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides a balanced view of both the positive and negative impacts of scientific advancements.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
supported main points
You have used relevant and specific examples, such as the advent of smartphones and Einstein's theory of relativity, to support your arguments effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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