In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In an ever-progressive society, there is a trend towards using public parks and open spaces for local residents to grow
fruit
and vegetables. This
situation contains a lot of impacts that outweigh its benefits to society.
Central to this
situation is the difficulties in separating land and managing the ways people
use it. In other words
, public places are areas controlled by the government and belong to the country, so it is hard to manage them equally and also
causes many social problems or even breaks neighbourhood communication. Besides
, in cities, fruit
and vegetables are expensive goods so can attract thieves and also
a place where people
can throw litter impolitely. For instance
, many cities allow dwellers to plant
fruit
and vegetables but need to close due to
the problems it causes and change to plant
trees or construct new places for exercising. Hence
, using public places for planting is impossible.
However
, there are some people
who believe that this
can encourage people
to consume healthy food. They argue that it is an opportunity for people
to create their own small gardens in the urban areas that have little land but many residents live in. Perhaps, it is credible, but plant
fruit
requires large amounts of fertilizers that cause many problems and are toxic to the environment. Also
, they can create their own spaces for planting by designing houses with large balconies or roots to plant
fruit
in the agricultural tubs like the way citizens in large cities such
as Mumbai, Tokyo and Seoul do.
In conclusion, utilizing public land for planting is hard to manage and toxic to the environment. Therefore
, the impacts of this
situation outweigh its benefits.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of converting public parks into gardens for residents, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic. However, you should offer more specific examples and develop your points further for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a logical structure to your arguments. While your essay is generally coherent, some paragraphs could be better organized. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is consistently developed.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. This will help establish clearer connections between your ideas and make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Include specific and relevant examples to support your points. Anecdotal references to cities like Mumbai, Tokyo, and Seoul are useful, but more concrete examples would strengthen your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and provide a clear framework for your essay.
complete response
You have addressed the question comprehensively, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the issue.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?