The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the past century,
science
has proven to pivot human lives. While
there is a debate over the primary goal of science
, I strongly agree that it should indeed focus on improving the life quality of the upcoming generations.
Science
is essential to support health quality that will lengthen human life expectancies. The study should enhance medical treatment such
as vaccine developments for infectious diseases and new medicines to treat serious illnesses. The effect of science
utilization will reflect a lower mortality rate and longer human’s
lifespan. Change noun form
human
For example
, a century ago, people could not treat a simple fever resulting in early death, but now, the
expeditious research is easily conducted to generate vaccines that saved billions of lives and doubled Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the human’s
human’s
age.
Change noun form
human
Moreover
, science
can contribute to the search for renewable energy
sources that will combat climate change and reduce pollution. The research in biodiversity helps to find alternative energy
beside
fossil fuels and protect the ecosystem from the negative impact of severe pollution. Replace the word
besides
For example
, it was hard to find a non-petrol car, however
, nowadays it is easy to find hybrid vehicles that use solar or water as their energy
source. If the whole nation shifts to cleaner energy
sources, individuals can avoid further
effects of global warming.
In conclusion, I am convinced that the aim of science
must be to improve the lives of human beings. Technology will definitely lead to better disease management and reduce
mortality rate, and clean Wrong verb form
reduced
energy
will reduce emissions - contributing to a healthier planet.Submitted by cahyani.a.dewi on
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task achievement
To achieve an even higher score, consider presenting counterarguments more explicitly and addressing them in your essay. This will demonstrate an ability to engage with the complexity of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next, maybe with a clearer use of linking phrases to enhance flow and connectivity between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in effectively communicating your stance.
task achievement
You have provided strong examples to illustrate your points, particularly in the context of medical advancements and renewable energy.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite