IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
If
students
Use synonyms
 were eager to follow scientific training in universities during the eighties and before, the trend has crystal clearly changed these
last
Linking Words
 decades.In fact, many of them tend to choose non-scientific subjects in their curriculum.
This
Linking Words
 essay will,in the first instance, explore the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 issue, it will
then
Linking Words
 suggest the effects on society. Science has always been considered the engine of mankind's development.Without some fundamental themes like mathematics or medicine, we would not be able to reach the level of comfort we are living in.In spite of
this
Linking Words
 obviousness, science subjects remain, unfortunately, abandoned by
students
Use synonyms
 at university.The first reason for that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the hardness of learning sciences.Indeed, many youngsters are afraid to fail at nailing their exams
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and flee from difficult topics at university.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, youth are nowadays more interested in earning money than doing what they really enjoy, because of the influence of social media.
For instance
Linking Words
, never has the number of med
students
Use synonyms
 been as low as now, in developed countries.Knowing that medicine studies are long in time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and that a junior doctor earns less than an employee in finance,
students
Use synonyms
 tend to escape from
this
Linking Words
 genre of jobs.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has a negative impact on society.Indeed, countries, all over the world,are suffering from an emptiness of engineers and doctors
as well as
Linking Words
, many other scientific profiles.The lack of employees in strategic sectors like industry and health care
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
triggers a real disaster concerning national productivity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and slows the development of humanity down.In France for example, hospitals suffer from a lack of doctors , especially in the emergency services,which may induce catastrophic consequences for patients in need of quick support. In conclusion, the hardness of scientific studies and the financial issues related to concerned jobs are the main reasons for the aforementioned problem
whereas
Linking Words
, the effect on society is the lack of employees in some strategic sectors, which leads to a stand-by in general development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider incorporating more transitions between ideas to ensure a smoother flow of thought.
task achievement
Some sentences are a bit complex and could be broken down for clarity. Consider rephrasing them to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction highlighting the issues to be discussed, and it follows through with a succinct conclusion summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The essay successfully covers both the reasons and effects of the issue, aligning well with the task requirements.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the current state of med students in developed countries, are used to contextualize the points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • career prospects
  • job market
  • technological advancement
  • innovation
  • scientific fields
  • analytical skills
  • perceived difficulty
  • global competitiveness
  • workforce imbalance
  • practical exposure
  • gender stereotypes
  • educational system
  • examination-focused
  • economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: