In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, in several urban areas around the world, public parks
are being
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
turned into
gardens
where
people
in the neighbourhood can plant their desired kinds of greens and fruits. From my perspective, I am convinced that
this
is a positive trend and its advantages surpass its downsides. To commence with, it is undeniable that having agricultural sites in big cities brings about some inconvenience. The most significant drawback is that the
overall
appearance of the city, which is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a modern and spotless place, will be spoiled as gardening activities are quite dirty.
For example
, there will be dirt and mud on the street as
people
enter and leave the
gardens
or harvest their vegetables.
Additionally
, vegetables do not provide the
tranquility
Change the spelling
tranquillity
show examples
and calm atmosphere that parks with a variety of trees have.
However
, I strongly believe that
this
development has more beneficial aspects than disadvantageous ones. The primary advantage is that
this
supplies citizens
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
clean and sustainable source of vegetables, which makes a huge contribution to their healthy lifestyle,
as well as
benefits them economically. Not only can city dwellers enjoy organic food
that is
good for their
well-beings
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
, but they can
also
set aside a great amount of money since purchasing greens from the market is not necessary anymore.
In addition
, the fact that
people
can grow plants in
gardens
in the middle of urban areas can support them mentally and hinder mental illnesses
such
as depression. Given that gardening is a calm and relaxing activity,
people
can either decompress
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
find a new hobby when doing
this
. All of which reduce the risk of being burnt out and depressed. In conclusion, it is true that replacing public parks with
gardens
renders
Verb problem
has
show examples
some disadvantages.
Nonetheless
, I am of the opinion that the benefits of
this
trend eclipse its negative sides, in terms of health improvements and money saving.

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task achievement
While the essay is well-structured, consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific cities or studies that highlight the benefits or drawbacks of converting public parks into gardens.
task achievement
Try to explore the drawbacks a bit more comprehensively to provide a balanced view. This will show a deeper analysis of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Consider further elaborating on how gardening activities might disrupt urban aesthetics using specific scenarios. This will enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and strong structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized and supported, leading to a cohesive and coherent argument.
task achievement
The essay covers the benefits and drawbacks effectively, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Good use of language and vocabulary, making the essay engaging and easy to read.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
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