Although there are a lot of gyms, people are not interested in working out and want to lead a sedentary lifestyle.

#gyms #people #lifestyle

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Although

there are a lot of

gyms

people

are not interested in working out and want to lead a sedentary

lifestyle

. Leading a sedentary

lifestyle

negatively impacts the health of

people

and

causes

numerous diseases. To solve

this

problem,

people

should be encouraged to go to

gyms

regularly

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and discuss the importance of

exercise

. The primary problem caused by

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

is it negatively impacts the health of

people

People

who do not visit

gyms

and lead a sedentary life become overweight.

As a result

, they cannot move their body properly and it hinders their daily activities.

Moreover

, if

people

do not go to

gyms

, it

causes

various diseases in their

bodes

Correct your spelling

bodies

show examples

. Lack of physical

exercise

causes

diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular disease and so on.

For instance

, in Australia,

people

are reluctant to go to

gyms

and take

part

in physical

exercise

Therefore

, they suffer mostly from diabetes and hypertension. To solve

this

problem,

people

should be encouraged to go to

gyms

Gyms

can offer various incentives,

such

as entertainment facilities and discounts to encourage

people

to join

gyms

Moreover

people

can discuss the importance of physical

exercise

. If

people

discuss the usefulness of physical

exercise

, it will inspire them to take

part

in physical

exercise

Therefore

people

become interested

to take

Change preposition

in taking

show examples

part

in physical

exercise

For example

, in Canada,

people

discuss the necessity of physical

exercise

which encourages others to take

part

in physical

exercise

. In conclusion, leading a sedentary

lifestyle

negatively impacts the health of

people

and

causes

diseases.

People

should encourage each other to take

part

in physical activities and

gyms

can offer incentives.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Thu Oct 24 2024

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task response

Provide more comprehensive examples or data to strengthen the argument. Expand on examples of diseases caused by a sedentary lifestyle or incentives offered by gyms.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance coherence by ensuring smooth transition between points, perhaps by using more linking words or phrases that guide the reader through the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay offers a well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly framing the issue and summarizing the solutions.

task response

You provided specific examples, such as those from Australia and Canada, which add relevance to your arguments.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Although there are a lot of gyms, people are not interested in working out and want to lead a sedentary lifestyle.

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Increasing housing problem in big city is a social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries face the problem of low voter turnout in their democratic elections. What are the problems associated with it and suggest solutions?

You work for a company. You have seen someinfornation online about a training course that would be useful for your work. Write a letter to your manager. In the letter: Give details of the course Say how the course would be useful Explain how the company could help you to do this course.