IN SOME CITIES PUBLIC PARKS ANF OPEN SPACES ARE BEING CHANGED INTO GARDENS WHERE LOCAL RESIDENTS CAN GROW THEIR OWN FRUIT AND VEGETABLES. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES?

#cities #parks #anf #spaces #gardens #residents #fruit #vegetables

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is believed that public parks and open

spaces

Use synonyms

need to be replaced by gardens to grow

fruit

Use synonyms

and

vegetables

Use synonyms

. I believe that the drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

far outweigh the benefits. Admittedly, there are some advantages when more and more fresh

fruit

Use synonyms

and

vegetables

Use synonyms

are grown on land. One of them is the encouragement of consuming healthy food. When having more places for

fruit

Use synonyms

and

vegetables

Use synonyms

, residents have more options for each meal.

This

Linking Words

leads to a balanced diet, which effects directly to our health and helps

people

Use synonyms

prevent issues

such

Linking Words

as cancer and obesity.

For instance

Linking Words

, Vietnam is one of the most developed countries in agriculture so citizens often buy fresh

fruit

Use synonyms

and exercise to have a healthy lifestyle. Despite the benefits mentioned above, I believe that the downsides of the public park replacement are much greater. First of all, it can have an adverse impact on residents’ health. Going to the park is a good way to exercise, which creates more chances for those who want to improve their appearance. If these public parks are demolished,

people

Use synonyms

will become more and more inactive and have sedentary lifestyles.

Besides

Linking Words

, citizens

also

Linking Words

do not have a place to unwind after a whole day of studying. Another explanation is that replacing these open

spaces

Use synonyms

has a negative impact on business. These areas have development plans for the future, so

this

Linking Words

action makes the situation worse. Enterprises do not improve their finance, and they have to suffer from financial burdens.

Besides

Linking Words

, citizens do not have enough

spaces

Use synonyms

to live which contribute to overpopulation.

For example

Linking Words

, Ho Chi Minh City has various open

spaces

Use synonyms

which help

people

Use synonyms

improve their lives. If these areas are replaced,

people

Use synonyms

will have trouble making a living

as well as

Linking Words

a shortage of accommodation. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

using land for growing fresh

fruit

Use synonyms

and

vegetables

Use synonyms

brings us some benefits, I am deeply convinced that

this

Linking Words

action does more harm than good in our daily life because of the above-mentioned reasons.

Mon May 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is equally developed to create a balanced response. While you have discussed multiple points, some areas, such as the negative impacts on business and overpopulation, could be expanded further with more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Strive for smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay. You could use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.

task achievement

Clarify and refine your examples. Make sure they directly support the main points you are making. For instance, the impact on businesses and overpopulation could be explained in more depth to illustrate the arguments more convincingly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion were clear and well-structured. You effectively stated your position and reiterated your main points at the end.

task achievement

You provided a balanced perspective by acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages of converting public parks into gardens, which strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

332 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Traffic jam is a big issue in many cities. What causes it? What can be done about it?
Most of people in urban have used their own personal car for transportation. It changes to a traffic jam issue in many cities. By the way, the clause of problem is they cannot use public transportation. This essay will discuss about this problem and how will be better.
6
band
You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: •introduce yourself, •say why you are interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs
Hope you're doing well. My name is Kunwar and I have recently joined a private College besides the sports club owned by you. I am writing this letter because I want to join the sports club. It is also convenient for me to attend the club because it situated at the nearest place of the College.
7.5
band
"IT IS SAID THAT SELF-STUDY IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL STUDENTS". Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In this competitive society, there has been considerable debate on whether independent studying is of paramount importance. In my opinion, I go along with this learning method, and in this essay, I will support my belief with detailed explanations and specific examples.
5
band
Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Throughout the years, there have been significant changes in the way people communicate. This started when the trends of the internet came into play. In recent days, people, especially teenagers, rather communicate with one another through social media or online. This can be due to the easier accessibility and effectiveness of social media. For example, nowadays, you can use a video call to a shared watching system where you can watch a movie/videos together with your friends. This also allows people to play certain games together whenever they desire. Hence, nowadays teenagers prefer to meet online rather than taking the time to socialize in person.
<4
band
You have had a problem with your next door neighbour. You have not been able to speak to your neighbor about this.
I am your next-door neighbour. I am writing this email letter to express my complaint to you. Because you keep several animal in your apartment and your dog always make strange sounds. These sounds are very weird, so I can not sleep at night.

IN SOME CITIES PUBLIC PARKS ANF OPEN SPACES ARE BEING CHANGED INTO GARDENS WHERE LOCAL RESIDENTS CAN GROW THEIR OWN FRUIT AND VEGETABLES. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Traffic jam is a big issue in many cities. What causes it? What can be done about it?

"IT IS SAID THAT SELF-STUDY IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL STUDENTS". Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

You have had a problem with your next door neighbour. You have not been able to speak to your neighbor about this.