In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?
Contained in the chart is data pertaining to the
percentage
of attendance for 3 types of Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
events
in 2006 in Australia.
Use synonyms
Overall
, it is obvious that Linking Words
pop
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
events
had the highest Use synonyms
percentage
in Use synonyms
groups
aged from 15-54. Meanwhile, Use synonyms
groups
aged 45-54 and 55+ had opera Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
events
as the highest.
Beginning with Use synonyms
pop
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
events
, it was the most popular category in Use synonyms
group
aged 15-24 with 38%, followed by Fix the agreement mistake
groups
age
35-44 and Use synonyms
age
25-34 Use synonyms
groups
with 33% and 27% respectively. Meanwhile, opera Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
events
dominated in Use synonyms
Use synonyms
age
35-44 with 25%, outnumbered Fix the agreement mistake
ages
Use synonyms
groups
aged 25-34 and 15-24 Change preposition
by groups
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
Use synonyms
percentage
were just around 13%-14%. Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
Additionally
, classical Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
events
had the same Use synonyms
percentage
in Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
age
15-24 and Wrong verb form
aged
age
35-44, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
for
age
25-34 it was 8%.
Turning to Use synonyms
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
groups
, it has the same Use synonyms
attendances
with 15%. It is obvious that Fix the agreement mistake
attendance
attendances
Fix the agreement mistake
attendance
of
classical Change preposition
at
music
Use synonyms
events
in Use synonyms
group
Correct article usage
the group
Use synonyms
age
55+ was 8%, higher than Wrong verb form
aged
pop
Use synonyms
music
by 3%. Use synonyms
By contrast
, Linking Words
attendances
of Fix the agreement mistake
attendance
pop
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
n
Correct your spelling
in
group
aged 45-54 was 13%, higher than classical Fix the agreement mistake
groups
music
Use synonyms
events
with just 10%.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Ensure that all age groups are described with relevant details for each type of music event. Some age groups could be described in more detail to improve clarity and comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction includes an overview of all main points that will be discussed. Consider adding a concluding sentence that summarizes the analysis.
coherence cohesion
Use clear paragraphing to separate different types of music events and age groups for better readability and structure.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and compares the main trends across different age groups and types of music events.
general
The language used is clear and mostly accurate, which helps in conveying the ideas effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.