The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006

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The given diagram shows the rating of people who attended concerts for 3 types of

music

Use synonyms

classical,

opera

Use synonyms

, and popular in 2006 in Australia at distinctive age groups.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that popular

music

Use synonyms

is trending with people below 44 years old, the older

group

Use synonyms

turned to

opera

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

classical did not get much notice from the audience. Looking at the graph, three types of

music

Use synonyms

had the same position in the below

44 years old

Correct your spelling

44-year-old

group

Use synonyms

. Specifically, in the youngest

group

Use synonyms

from 15 to 24, the percentage of popular more than three times with

opera

Use synonyms

and classical, in 25-to 34, the rating of people who listened to

music

Use synonyms

reduces

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

when popular listeners decreased by 11 %, both two

remain

Verb problem

apply

show examples

statistics seem to be stable. In the 35-44

group

Use synonyms

, the number of popular

music

Use synonyms

choices equals the sum of classical and

opera

Use synonyms

. Moving on to the 45-54 age

group

Use synonyms

, the rating on three statistics were nearly with others and

opera

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

became popular with 15%, more than 2% with the second.

This

Linking Words

rating still remains in the oldest

group

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the number of pop listeners fell rapidly to 5%.

Mon May 27 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words music, opera, group with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

attendance patterns
age demographics
teenagers
young adults
middle-aged individuals
senior citizens
varies
preferences
interpret
type of music events
concerts
festivals
classical music events
insightful
popular
cultural influences
social trends
lifestyle choices
affect
rates
economic factors
accessibility
cost of tickets
income levels
comparison
recreational activities
forms of entertainment
noting trends
deviations

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The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006

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In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports, What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?