in some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In many metropolitans, green spaces are turned into public
garden
, where residents plant their own trees. Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
This
writer believes the advantages of healthy eating and connecting to other people
outweigh the disadvantage
of environmental issues.
It must be considered that encouraging Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
people
to plant their own fruit can help them break their bad eating habits. It is because they will learn how to value their vegetables, which take
a large amount of time Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
of caring
and Wrong verb form
to care for
projecting
. Replace the word
project
As a result
, they will consume their own fruits as a reward for all the hard work they have put into their garden. For examples
, farmers value their crops, Fix the agreement mistake
example
try
to protect and consume Correct word choice
and try
it
as these trees are the result of their hard work and dedication.
Another consideration is public gardening can become an activity to socialize with other Correct pronoun usage
them
people
. Individuals can find like-minded people
and make friends easily. Consequently
, gardeners are less likely to be alone and suffer from depression as they are surrounded by friends and helpful farmers. For instance
, when people
need assistance, their nearby gardeners will help them. Sometimes, they can take a break and talk about their plants and fruits.
Some people
think public gardens have the drawback of using chemicals such
as fertilizers and pesticides which cause soil pollution. This
may be true, but by limiting the use of chemicals and replace
them with natural ones, Wrong verb form
replacing
this
problem can be solved. Furthermore
, gardening can help people
raise awareness of pollution as they are connected and closer to nature.
In conclusion, the benefits of healthy eating and socializing with friends outweigh the set back
of pollution. Gardeners are Correct your spelling
setback
also
less likely to suffer from mental illnesses and lead a healthier life.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have given a full and clear response to the task, and your ideas are overall well-developed and relevant. However, try to provide more specific examples to solidify your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. While the arguments are presented well, clearer transitions will help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided compelling arguments for both advantages and disadvantages, offering a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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