The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.

The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.
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Presented for consideration is a bar chart depicting the proportion of participation in
three
Use synonyms
different kinds of musical concerts in Australia throughout the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can be seen from the graphic that popular
music
Use synonyms
was mostly chosen among people
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages, with the exception of 45 to 54-year-olds and over 55-year-olds.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the biggest disparities between
age
Use synonyms
groups
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
seen between the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
15
Change preposition
of 15
show examples
and 44, in which the popular one
clearly
Add a missing verb
was clearly
show examples
dominant. Looking at the
age
Use synonyms
categories from 15 to 44 in
further
Linking Words
detail, it can be noticed that over 27% of people in all
three
Use synonyms
ranges opted for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular
music
Use synonyms
events, becoming the
three
Use synonyms
highest figures compared to other groups.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
was the opera, which was 13%, for the one aged 15 to 24, 14%, for 25
-
Change preposition
to
show examples
34-year-olds, and exactly a quarter, for the rest
age
Use synonyms
range. Classical was seen as the lowest in these categories, whose figures were under 11%, around
three
Use synonyms
to four times lower than the
poplar
Correct your spelling
popular
show examples
music
Use synonyms
within the same sectors. Turning to the remaining statistics, the data was much different.
While
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular
music
Use synonyms
was just listened
by
Change preposition
to by
show examples
only
beneath
Change preposition
apply
show examples
13% of individuals in these sectors,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opera has become the most chosen option, which was 15%
similarly
Linking Words
. With regard to the classical performances, there was a tenth of
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
to 54 sector, 2% higher than the over 55 one.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words three, music, age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance patterns
  • age demographics
  • teenagers
  • young adults
  • middle-aged individuals
  • senior citizens
  • varies
  • preferences
  • interpret
  • type of music events
  • concerts
  • festivals
  • classical music events
  • insightful
  • popular
  • cultural influences
  • social trends
  • lifestyle choices
  • affect
  • rates
  • economic factors
  • accessibility
  • cost of tickets
  • income levels
  • comparison
  • recreational activities
  • forms of entertainment
  • noting trends
  • deviations
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