Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?

In light of the proliferation of technology, people are able to contact
with
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apply
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foreigners, leading to several cross-cultural aspects.
Therefore
, alleviating the distance between countries, making a trend of watching the same TV programmes.
This
author contends that the benefit of promoting products is eclipsed by the opportunities of losing own
cultures
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culture
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and tensions among residents. There is no doubt that bridging the gap between nations catering to
opporunities
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opportunities
to advertise for national brands. Specifically,
company
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the company
a company
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can expand their marketplace and
exporting
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export
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products all over the world. By viewing the same programmes, retailers can recognize the current trend of customs and
fulfill
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fulfil
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their demand,
therefore
, decreasing numerous excessive products.
For instance
, teenagers are more likely to gravitate toward luxury fashion brands, by
comprehensing
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comprehending
comprehensive
this
, they could give suitable plans to promote their reputation. Notwithstanding the aforementioned advantage,
incorporated
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incorporating
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watching trend not only cause culture loss but
also
create
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creates
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arguments between states, the downside of
this
phenonmenon
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phenomenon
is definite. If
audience
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the audience
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spectates foreign programmes, there will be less time spent
for
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on
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traditional
channel
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channels
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causing
lack
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a lack
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of
interests
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interest
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in
country's
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the country's
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own culture.
Furthermore
, each countries have diverse
point
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points
show examples
of view which may lead to several arguments among residents. In conclusion, the advantages were outweighed by the disadvantages
due to
culture loss and
chance
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the chance
a chance
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of tensions.

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task achievement
You should focus on developing your main points more thoroughly. Expand on your arguments and support them with more detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are a bit awkward and could be rephrased for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can benefit from better structural markers to indicate the progression of ideas. Using more transition words can help improve the flow of arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid errors in spelling and grammar. For example, 'phenonmenon' should be 'phenomenon' and 'comprehensing' should be 'comprehending'.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to consider both the advantages and disadvantages, which is good for a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenization
  • monoculture
  • cultural diversity
  • globalization
  • innovation
  • tolerance
  • economic growth
  • consumer culture
  • interconnected
  • unique cultural identities
  • cultural richness
  • global peace
  • environmental impacts
  • accelerate
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