IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashodwon museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashodwon museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.
#numbers #visitors #ashodwon #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
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The diagrams
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 some information about visitors who visited the Ashdown museum one year after and before(In order
YA
Use synonyms
 and YB) some changes in
this
Linking Words
 place and their satisfaction about
this
Linking Words
 matter. The number of
people
Use synonyms
 who were so satisfied
YB
Change preposition
with YB
show examples
this
Linking Words
 event was 15%
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 number increased to more than twice in the
YA
Use synonyms
. The persons
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
 satisfied changed by 10 more
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 during the
YA
Use synonyms
. Dissatisfied
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
in YB were almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of all amount
also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 amount fell
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 to
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is the biggest
chang
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
 in
YA
Use synonyms
. The number of very dissatisfied inYB was 10%
evendogh
Correct your spelling
even dog
this
Linking Words
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 became less by 5% in
YA
Use synonyms
 . Some
people
Use synonyms
 in both of
this
Linking Words
 year
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 no
respnse
Correct your spelling
response
 by 5% had no change.
Also
Linking Words
 during the year before refurbishment were 74,000
people
Use synonyms
 and the
people
Use synonyms
 who visited and
attend
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
 to
answering
Wrong verb form
answer
show examples
this
Linking Words
 test were about 92,000
people
Use synonyms
.
Allin
Correct your spelling
All in
show examples
 all
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
 ver more happier than before and
this
Linking Words
 matter
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
this
Linking Words
 museum to be more
succsessfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ya, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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