The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashodwon museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashodwon museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.
The diagrams
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
some information about visitors who visited the Ashdown museum one year after and before(In order
YA
and YB) some changes in
this
place and their satisfaction about
this
matter. The number of
people
who were so satisfied
YB
Change preposition
with YB
show examples
this
event was 15%
however
,
this
number increased to more than twice in the
YA
. The persons
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
satisfied changed by 10 more
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
during the
YA
. Dissatisfied
people
people
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
in YB were almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of all amount
also
,
this
amount fell
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
to
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
is the biggest
chang
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
in
YA
. The number of very dissatisfied inYB was 10%
evendogh
Correct your spelling
even dog
this
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
became less by 5% in
YA
. Some
people
in both of
this
year
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
no
respnse
Correct your spelling
response
by 5% had no change.
Also
during the year before refurbishment were 74,000
people
and the
people
who visited and
attend
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
to
answering
Wrong verb form
answer
show examples
this
test were about 92,000
people
.
Allin
Correct your spelling
All in
show examples
all
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
after
this
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
ver more happier than before and
this
matter
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
this
museum to be more
succsessfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words ya, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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