history and literature are replete with countless examples, growing children into
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task achievement
Your introduction touches on the topic, but it's somewhat vague. Be more specific about your stance. To fully achieve the task, develop your argument with clear and comprehensive ideas and support them with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure, but it can be improved. Start by creating a clearer and more direct thesis statement. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and flows logically from one to the next. Consider using transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Currently, there's no clear introduction or conclusion. Ensure your essay has a strong introduction that outlines your main points and a conclusion that summarizes your argument cohesively. The body paragraphs should each focus on a single point supporting your thesis. This will help in presenting and supporting your main points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, avoid overly complex vocabulary that might obscure meaning. Instead, opt for clear and precise language that articulates your thoughts well.
task achievement
In addition to presenting ideas clearly, use examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your position more convincing.
task achievement
It's commendable that you have expressed an opinion and attempted to address the topic. This shows that you understand the task at hand.
coherence cohesion
Your effort to use varied language is evident, which is a positive aspect. With practice, this will become more natural and effective.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
It is believed that children should be encouraged to take part in team activities by their parents since it gives opportunity to interact with others even though others think that this might create difficulties for both parents and children because of fixed training schedules.
It is common knowledge that in many countries there is a dramatic decline in animal and plant numbers. Although there are undoubtedly various reasons for this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate them.
Nowadays, when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation , a tendency to pass important exams on computers can be observed. It is agreed, that children these days are better qualified in gadgets and this way of the examination can help them to cope with stress ,however , some risks exist because of the possibility of cheating. This essay, firstly, will discuss what positive sides this issue has, followed by an analysis of drawbacks ,before coming to a reasoned conclusion.
The issue of whether aged individuals who ought to be cared for by their relations are now being placed in nursing homes has prompted a substantial debate. While many champion this because of its advantages, such as being cared for by professionals, others contend against it due to its drawbacks; in particular, it makes them feel lonely and rejected. Analyzing these facts will give a comprehensive overview of the subject matter.
An argument is made that students should be living away from home whilst their university study, while others believe that they should remain at their parent's house. I firmly agree that they should step out and live away from their parents. The forthcoming paragraphs will state my ideas and justify my view.