Some people believe that all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been an enigmatic quandary as to whether
parents
have to take
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
to be good
parents
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it is clear that
all
parents
have to take good
parents lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
parent lessons
show examples
.
Although
history and literature are replete with countless examples, growing children into
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are a paragon that reflects
such
a theme.
Submitted by a23179573 on

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task achievement
Your introduction touches on the topic, but it's somewhat vague. Be more specific about your stance. To fully achieve the task, develop your argument with clear and comprehensive ideas and support them with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure, but it can be improved. Start by creating a clearer and more direct thesis statement. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and flows logically from one to the next. Consider using transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Currently, there's no clear introduction or conclusion. Ensure your essay has a strong introduction that outlines your main points and a conclusion that summarizes your argument cohesively. The body paragraphs should each focus on a single point supporting your thesis. This will help in presenting and supporting your main points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, avoid overly complex vocabulary that might obscure meaning. Instead, opt for clear and precise language that articulates your thoughts well.
task achievement
In addition to presenting ideas clearly, use examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your position more convincing.
task achievement
It's commendable that you have expressed an opinion and attempted to address the topic. This shows that you understand the task at hand.
coherence cohesion
Your effort to use varied language is evident, which is a positive aspect. With practice, this will become more natural and effective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • crucial skills
  • personal growth
  • parenting styles
  • autonomy
  • financial and logistical barriers
  • implement
  • undermine
  • experience
  • cultural differences
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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