the graoh below shows the number of shops that closed and the number od new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

#graoh #shops #od #country

The diagram compares the number of closures and

openinigs

Correct your spelling

openings

opening

shops

in one country in 2011 from 2018.

Overall

, the open

shops

in 2011 ranked

first,

however

over the

years

, it

witness

Wrong verb form

witnessed

show examples

fiucuation

Correct your spelling

fluctuation

widely and by the end, there was a significant decline in 2018.

Also

, the

clousre

Correct your spelling

closure

at first in the higher figure than least. In the first year in 2011, the figure of openings stood at 8500 and dropped remarkably to reach about 4000 in 2012.

This

was followed by a marginal growth of 4000 to 6000 in 2014.

However

this

upward trend was suddenly broken and open

shops

declined to reach

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

4000 again in 2015.

After

this

, the openings remained stable over the three

years

then

in 2017 fell slightly to reach about 3000. The figure for closures was

initially

almost 6000 in 2011.

Then

there was a

marginl

Correct your spelling

marginal

decrease in 2012. Afterwards,

this

was followed by a minimal growth that

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

to highest number 7000 in 2013. During the next two

years

, it saw a

dramatical

Replace the word

dramatic

show examples

plummet in closing

shops

. In 2015, it experienced an upward trend until 2016. Over the next three

years

Add a comma

years,

show examples

the number levelled off at 5000.

Submitted by safehiana on Mon May 27 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a basic description of the trends shown in the graph, but it's important to ensure every detail is accurate, consistently clear, and logically connected. Improve your introduction to clearly summarize what the graph shows over the entire period being considered.

coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure, including distinct paragraphs for each main idea. Strengthen your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points discussed.

task achievement

Your essay describes the trends and changes over the years, giving a broad understanding of the closures and openings of shops.

coherence cohesion

You have made an attempt to discuss each year and the given data, with specific reference to some key figures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

195 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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the graoh below shows the number of shops that closed and the number od new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every five years. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

in many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to latest fashion. why is this happening? is this a positive or a negative development?

Traditional schooling is no longer necessary, since more information is accessible on the internet and students can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree.