People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Individuals born in new decades might experience longevity compared to the previous generations, which is
due to
the advancement of medical science, and it should certainly be seen as a negative incident because of
an
Correct article usage
the
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increasing number of older populations that we will have in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
years. On the one hand, medical science has had significant achievements during the past few decades. Advancements in
field
Add an article
the field
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of diagnosis, discovering medications and treatments for many chronic diseases have been able to help patients
to
Verb problem
apply
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prevent their illnesses in
initial
Correct pronoun usage
their initial
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stages or control them in case of being afflicted. A recent study found that people over 70 years old have shown optimism toward living longer. In fact, they believe that recent medical accomplishments will help them to have a longer life.
However
, the older population in the world is a serious issue
that is
happening and has made a lot of governments concerned. Unfortunately,
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
generations will not be as productive as possible above the age of 70, which can lead to a workforce lack.
Moreover
, these senior citizens require higher costs for caregiving and treatment, which can cause governments to undergo huge amounts of expenses. In India,
for instance
, a remarkable amount of budget is being spent to cure and take care of elderly individuals, which has caused
this
country to confront serious issues handling other situations. In conclusion, after considering the above-mentioned points,
although
longevity has been extended
due to
several achievements in medical science, we cannot overlook its negative impacts and consequences in societies.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance. However, the response would be more complete if it included more detailed analysis and a wider range of examples. Try to expand on your points with more depth.
task response
Try to clarify your ideas by breaking them into more digestible parts. Each point you make would benefit from further elaboration with concrete details. Use examples to support your arguments more effectively.
coherence
The essay could improve its logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main argument. Make sure each paragraph follows a clear logical progression from one to the next.
coherence
While your essay does have an introduction and conclusion, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could more effectively summarize the key points made in the essay.
task response
You provide clear and comprehensive ideas in your essay and manage to stay relevant to the topic throughout.
coherence
Introductory and concluding paragraphs are present, which gives your essay a cohesive structure.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • seasoned workforce
  • health advancements
  • chronic conditions
  • social welfare systems
  • pension plans
  • policy adjustments
  • aging population
  • cultural experiences
  • loneliness
  • mental health
  • geriatric care
  • consumption of resources
  • environmental stresses
  • climate change
  • resource depletion
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