Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
developing era, governments should upgrade infrastructure and some residents believe that they need to invest in roads and motorways, while
others think that public transportation systems are more important. This
writer is of the opinion that both are equally necessary for people and will explain in this
following essay.
It is vital to understand that citizens cannot transport on their own with bad roads. People also
need to go on holidays, travel around or have a picnic with their family. Hence
, private transportation makes them feel comfortable and more convenient almost all the time. They can also
stop whenever they want to solve their work or just take pictures. Moreover
, streets also
became the most important thing with service sectors such
as deliveries inside and outside the nations. For instance
, a pizza cannot be distributed by train or bus because it will cost a lot of money and also
waste time. So, good infrastructure can support the economy and bring many benefits.
Moving on to another factor, public transport is the best way to save the environment which is destroyed by residents and facilities nowadays. With general vehicles, gas and fume can be declined by the large storages and many citizens can transport at the same time. As a result
, the rate to appear cars, trucks and motorbikes will fall down, leading to the consumption of fossil fuels decreasing too.
Taking everything into account, governments should pay money accurately, depending on the demands of inhabitants. However
, the environment is also
necessary for human living and needs to be taken care of by reducing the greenhouse gases released from vehicles.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While you have provided a comprehensive response, including support for both perspectives, some points are a bit general. Try to incorporate more specific examples, statistics, or case studies to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but some of the phrasing could be more precise for better clarity. For instance, instead of 'private transportation makes them feel comfortable and more convenient,' you could say 'private transportation offers a higher level of comfort and convenience.'
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases more effectively to enhance coherence. Phrases like 'on the other hand,' 'in contrast,' or 'furthermore' can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph sticks to a single idea or closely related ideas. The paragraph discussing roads touches on personal travel and service sector needs, which could be more effectively separated into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction sets the stage well by presenting both perspectives and stating your balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
You have a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with each paragraph focused on a particular aspect of the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.