The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 2979 and 2004.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 2979 and 2004.
The graph illustrates the impact of vaccinations on the incidence,
a
Correct your spelling
of
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child illness in Britain from 1940 to 1990.
Overall
, the number of children having whooping cough in Britain during the beginning period of vaccination decreased
while
the figure for vaccine uptake fluctuated. Remarkably, the highest number of offspring with whooping cough in Britain when they were being
vaccination
Replace the word
vaccinated
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begins
Verb problem
apply
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was in 1950 and
this
figure for vaccine uptake was in 1990. Starting, in 1940, the rate of cases of whooping cough in the time of vaccination beginning period stood at 50
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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, and peaked at about 170
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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of cases in 1950, before plunging at 0
case
Change to a plural noun
cases
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in 1990. 
Additionally
, the proportion of vaccine uptake cases in 1970 was over 81%. After that,
this
figure experienced a bottom at 30% before peaking at 94% in 1990.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
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