Nowadays famous players are followed by young adults some people think it's a positive trend and believe otherwise what do you think is it a positive or negative trend

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In
this
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contemporary epoch, there is an outgoing tendency to follow sports stars by the younger generations.
While
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some individuals believe that players have an important duty to perform good deeds and be great influencers for teenagers, others have a diverse view. I am of the belief that they should act
accordingly
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and watch their behaviours because the majority of children are influenced by their practices and thoughts. In the following paragraphs, my point of view will be
further
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discussed.
To begin
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with, it is believed that a huge number of famous sports players are followed by the young on different social media platforms, so they have to be careful in regard to their ideas and beliefs. To illustrate, when a player posts a particular opinion about education and pursuing dreams,
this
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opinion will be followed by students.
Therefore
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,
this
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could have a major impact on the development of society as a whole.
For example
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, Messy, who is a famous football player has raised awareness about poor children's education among young adults. What can be said is that sports successful players’ thoughts are not only important to their lives but
also
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to the lives of the young population.
Furthermore
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, it is a well-known fact that actions are more crucial and have a serious impact, so they must be cautious with their activities.
In other words
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, if they commit good practices, they will be drastically imitated by the youth. A prime example is Mohammed Salah, who has launched many awareness campaigns about the harmful impact of drugs and has affected the teenagers' mindset about them.
Hence
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, successful players have become significant influencers in the community and they are followed by a large number of adults.  In conclusion,
after
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this
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essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, popular individuals have a considerable effect on the community. I am convinced that they should be cautious and lay an example.
Submitted by Fatimah on

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introduction
Your introduction sets a good context for the essay but it could be more concise. Try to shorten it to clearly outline your opinion and what you're going to discuss.
cohesion
Some ideas are repeated, making the argument slightly redundant. Instead of repeating similar points, explore other dimensions of the topic to enrich your essay.
conclusion
Ensure the conclusion clearly encapsulates the main points discussed in the essay for a stronger ending.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized and presents a clear structure, which makes it easy to follow your reasoning.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant and specific examples that support your argument. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay answers the question, giving a clear stance on whether following famous players is a positive or negative trend.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • poor sportsmanship
  • substance abuse
  • influence
  • motivate
  • physical health
  • unrealistic expectations
  • obsession
  • success
  • disappointment
  • cultural awareness
  • diverse backgrounds
  • distraction
  • educational goals
  • career goals
  • inspire
  • healthy lifestyle
  • broader understanding
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