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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates differences in the amount and type of junk food used by Australian youngsters between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are three features of fast meals
such
Linking Words
 as
pizza
Use synonyms
, burgers and
chips
Use synonyms
. The food which had a significant drop was
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 other categories had only risen.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1975,
pizza
Use synonyms
 and hamburgers had approximately equal results by 5,
while
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
 was the top-ranked consumed snack with the number 100,
however
Linking Words
, in 1980,
chips
Use synonyms
 and
fish
Use synonyms
 had a noticeable reduction to 84 and other types of fast food had a dramatic growth.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in 1985,
chips
Use synonyms
 went up slowly to 86 and hamburgers to 83, in the meantime,
pizza
Use synonyms
 had only 40. Despite
this
Linking Words
 fact,
pizza
Use synonyms
 overtook
fish
Use synonyms
 with 81,
whereas
Linking Words
chips
Use synonyms
 reduced to 45 ,in 1995. In 2000, hamburgers had a huge up to 100,
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
,
fish
Use synonyms
 had 39 and
pizza
Use synonyms
 grew to 80.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pizza, chips, fish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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