It is sometimes said that people should be enouraged to get married before they turn 30, as this is best for both individuals and society, Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few people opine that everyone
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should get married before they turn 30
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
Linking Words
has more pros for
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
and oneself. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement as getting married at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
Use synonyms
can bring secure
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
and commitment towards
one
Use synonyms
another. Marrying someone between the ages of 20 to 30 has many
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
. It helps an individual to be selfless which has become very rare to see these days. Once a person is married, they start caring for each other and express unconditional love at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, having moral support from a partner at
tender
Add an article
a tender
show examples
age
Use synonyms
can help
one
Use synonyms
achieve the most difficult goals.
Although
Linking Words
, achieving
mile stones
Correct your spelling
milestones
show examples
alone can give pride, having
some
Correct your spelling
come
show examples
to celebrate the victory will add more meaning to success.
In addition
Linking Words
, marrying at
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
age
Use synonyms
is important because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
biological
Add an article
the biological
show examples
clock is ticking. Women who are above 30 find it very hard to conceive
due to
Linking Words
their
age
Use synonyms
and
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
which, leads to fertility
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country number of fertility
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
has increased 5 times compared to
decade
Add an article
a decade
show examples
ago and
doctor’s
Change noun form
doctors
show examples
claim that 65% of women and men have difficulty conceiving naturally and the main reason attributing to
this
Linking Words
is
age
Use synonyms
. On the flip side, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
reasons why few opt to postpone
wedding
Correct pronoun usage
their wedding
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they have
ambition
Fix the agreement mistake
ambitions
show examples
and targets to achieve. Marriage can stop or slow them down from achieving their goals.
Due to
Linking Words
family
commitment
Add a comma
commitment,
show examples
one
Use synonyms
has to compromise and sacrifice their aim.
For example
Linking Words
, it is recorded by
Family
Correct article usage
the Family
show examples
welfare organization
Correct your spelling
Welfare Organization
show examples
of India, that 87% of women did not pursue their passion, because they got married at a young
age
Use synonyms
and family became their priority.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, staying single can give financial stability and
one
Use synonyms
can be independent and take decisions on their own terms which, would not be possible if they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
someone dependent on them. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
a bachelor
show examples
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
life can give all the freedom to achieve things at
onus
Correct your spelling
one's
show examples
own pace and terms.
However
Linking Words
, love, caring for
one
Use synonyms
another and medical fitness
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
Add an article
the advantage
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
of being married.
Submitted by u.umayal92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly to the next. Enhance the logical structure by linking ideas with more transitional phrases.
task achievement
To achieve higher scores in task response, ensure all points are fully developed. Provide more detailed explanations and explore counterarguments thoroughly.
task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. More in-depth elaboration of points can strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, and the conclusion wraps up your thoughts well.
task achievement
Your use of relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning the increase in fertility centers, strengthens your argument and makes it more relatable.
task achievement
You've identified and explained several advantages and disadvantages of marrying before 30, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnectedness
  • globalization
  • digital communication platforms
  • mutual dependency
  • economic globalization
  • international supply chains
  • social validation
  • advancements in technology
  • individualism
  • technological tools
  • smartphones
  • personal computers
  • cultural shift
  • self-sufficiency
  • individualistic attitudes
  • personal achievement
  • self-care
  • interdependency
  • societal structures
  • emotional support
  • underlying foundations
  • human interaction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: