It is sometimes said that people should be enouraged to get married before they turn 30, as this is best for both individuals and society, Do you agree or disagree?

#people #individuals #society

Few people opine that everyone

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

should get married before they turn 30

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

this

has more pros for

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

and oneself. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement as getting married at

young

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a young

show examples

age

can bring secure

feeling

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feelings

show examples

and commitment towards

one

another. Marrying someone between the ages of 20 to 30 has many

advantage

Change to a plural noun

advantages

show examples

. It helps an individual to be selfless which has become very rare to see these days. Once a person is married, they start caring for each other and express unconditional love at

young

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a young

show examples

age

Also

, having moral support from a partner at

tender

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a tender

show examples

age

can help

one

achieve the most difficult goals.

Although

, achieving

mile stones

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milestones

show examples

alone can give pride, having

some

Correct your spelling

come

show examples

to celebrate the victory will add more meaning to success.

In addition

, marrying at

right

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the right

show examples

age

is important because

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apply

show examples

biological

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the biological

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clock is ticking. Women who are above 30 find it very hard to conceive

due to

their

age

and

stress related

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stress-related

show examples

issue

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issues

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which, leads to fertility

issue

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issues

show examples

For example

, in my country number of fertility

center

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centers

show examples

has increased 5 times compared to

decade

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a decade

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ago and

doctor’s

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doctors

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claim that 65% of women and men have difficulty conceiving naturally and the main reason attributing to

this

age

. On the flip side, there are

few

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a few

show examples

reasons why few opt to postpone

wedding

Correct pronoun usage

their wedding

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have

ambition

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ambitions

show examples

and targets to achieve. Marriage can stop or slow them down from achieving their goals.

Due to

family

commitment

Add a comma

commitment,

show examples

one

has to compromise and sacrifice their aim.

For example

, it is recorded by

Family

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the Family

show examples

welfare organization

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Welfare Organization

show examples

of India, that 87% of women did not pursue their passion, because they got married at a young

age

and family became their priority.

Furthermore

, staying single can give financial stability and

one

can be independent and take decisions on their own terms which, would not be possible if they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

someone dependent on them. In conclusion,

Correct article usage

a bachelor

show examples

bachelor

Change noun form

bachelor's

show examples

life can give all the freedom to achieve things at

onus

Correct your spelling

one's

show examples

own pace and terms.

However

, love, caring for

one

another and medical fitness

outweighs

Correct subject-verb agreement

outweigh

show examples

Add an article

the advantage

show examples

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

of being married.

Submitted by u.umayal92 on Mon May 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly to the next. Enhance the logical structure by linking ideas with more transitional phrases.

task achievement

To achieve higher scores in task response, ensure all points are fully developed. Provide more detailed explanations and explore counterarguments thoroughly.

task achievement

Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. More in-depth elaboration of points can strengthen the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, and the conclusion wraps up your thoughts well.

task achievement

Your use of relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning the increase in fertility centers, strengthens your argument and makes it more relatable.

task achievement

You've identified and explained several advantages and disadvantages of marrying before 30, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnectedness
globalization
digital communication platforms
mutual dependency
economic globalization
international supply chains
social validation
advancements in technology
individualism
technological tools
smartphones
personal computers
cultural shift
self-sufficiency
individualistic attitudes
personal achievement
self-care
interdependency
societal structures
emotional support
underlying foundations
human interaction

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It is sometimes said that people should be enouraged to get married before they turn 30, as this is best for both individuals and society, Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. ​ Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.​

It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. Whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children, both your point of views and your opinion.

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled.   Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.