It is sometimes said that people should be enouraged to get married before they turn 30, as this is best for both individuals and society, Do you agree or disagree?
Few people opine that everyone
one
should get married before they turn 30Correct pronoun usage
apply
,
because Remove the comma
apply
this
has more pros for community
and oneself. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement as getting married at Correct article usage
the community
young
Add an article
a young
age
can bring secure feeling
and commitment towards Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
one
another.
Marrying someone between the ages of 20 to 30 has many advantage
. It helps an individual to be selfless which has become very rare to see these days. Once a person is married, they start caring for each other and express unconditional love at Change to a plural noun
advantages
young
Add an article
a young
age
. Also
, having moral support from a partner at tender
Add an article
a tender
age
can help one
achieve the most difficult goals. Although
, achieving mile stones
alone can give pride, having Correct your spelling
milestones
some
to celebrate the victory will add more meaning to success. Correct your spelling
come
In addition
, marrying at right
Add an article
the right
age
is important because,
Remove the comma
apply
biological
clock is ticking. Women who are above 30 find it very hard to conceive Add an article
the biological
due to
their age
and stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
issue
which, leads to fertility Fix the agreement mistake
issues
issue
. Fix the agreement mistake
issues
For example
, in my country number of fertility center
has increased 5 times compared to Fix the agreement mistake
centers
decade
ago and Add an article
a decade
doctor’s
claim that 65% of women and men have difficulty conceiving naturally and the main reason attributing to Change noun form
doctors
this
is age
.
On the flip side, there are few
reasons why few opt to postpone Correct article usage
a few
wedding
Correct pronoun usage
their wedding
is
becauseUnnecessary verb
apply
,
they have Remove the comma
apply
ambition
and targets to achieve. Marriage can stop or slow them down from achieving their goals. Fix the agreement mistake
ambitions
Due to
family commitment
Add a comma
commitment,
one
has to compromise and sacrifice their aim. For example
, it is recorded by Family
Correct article usage
the Family
welfare organization
of India, that 87% of women did not pursue their passion, because they got married at a young Correct your spelling
Welfare Organization
age
and family became their priority. Furthermore
, staying single can give financial stability and one
can be independent and take decisions on their own terms which, would not be possible if they have
someone dependent on them.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
had
Correct article usage
a bachelor
bachelor
life can give all the freedom to achieve things at Change noun form
bachelor's
onus
own pace and terms. Correct your spelling
one's
However
, love, caring for one
another and medical fitness outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
Add an article
the advantage
advantage
of being married.Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
Submitted by u.umayal92 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly to the next. Enhance the logical structure by linking ideas with more transitional phrases.
task achievement
To achieve higher scores in task response, ensure all points are fully developed. Provide more detailed explanations and explore counterarguments thoroughly.
task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. More in-depth elaboration of points can strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, and the conclusion wraps up your thoughts well.
task achievement
Your use of relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning the increase in fertility centers, strengthens your argument and makes it more relatable.
task achievement
You've identified and explained several advantages and disadvantages of marrying before 30, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.