Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities . Discuss both views and give your opinion . Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
There are different opinions about banning or freeing dangerous
sports
among individuals. I believe that dangerous exercise should be forbidden. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides of this
argument.
On the one hand, people
should do safe sports
for many reasons. Firstly
, people
may face a lot of health-related challenges throughout life such
as car accidents, earthquakes, cancer, etc. So it is better not to increase these challenges by doing dangerous sports
. Secondly
, These sports
are risky and may cause serious injuries to the person or others, which fills the space of hospitals and may disrupt the treatment process of patients with special conditions, for example
, If a boxer is in a coma due to
a fight, it will occupy the hospital's ICU. Finally
, if serious sports
lead to financial or personal damage, namely accidents in car racing, it will increase government spending.
On the other hand
, because of the reasons that I say in this
paragraph dangerous sports
should not be prevented. Initially
, freedom is an important thing in people
’s vita and it should be respected so everybody can do any sport
they like, such
as motorsports. Furthermore
, several humans think that a sport
is more exciting if it is risky, they like the endorphin hormone. For instance
, bull riding
may cause damage to bulls and other Correct your spelling
bullriding
people
but many individuals like it and makes them happy.
In conclusion, many people
think that dangerous sports
should be limited and the rest of them do not think so. In my belief, sport
is for health and it is not true that because of sport
and excitement, folk harm themselves or others.Submitted by omranz2013 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction
Work on introducing your essay with a clearer paraphrase of the question and a more straightforward thesis statement outlining your position and the main points you will discuss.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Use 'firstly,' 'secondly,' etc., to structure your arguments logically.
cohesion
Include more cohesive devices to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs better. Moreover, try to avoid repetition of phrases and ideas to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more balanced coverage of the views. While your opinion may align with one side, discussing both views equally ensures task achievement.
examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. Generic examples weaken the impact of your points. Draw from a wider range of sources or hypothetical scenarios.