Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities . Discuss both views and give your opinion . Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #sports #activities

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There are different opinions about banning or freeing dangerous

sports

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among individuals. I believe that dangerous exercise should be forbidden. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both sides of

this

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argument. On the one hand,

people

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should do safe

sports

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for many reasons.

Firstly

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people

Use synonyms

may face a lot of health-related challenges throughout life

such

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as car accidents, earthquakes, cancer, etc. So it is better not to increase these challenges by doing dangerous

sports

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Secondly

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, These

sports

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are risky and may cause serious injuries to the person or others, which fills the space of hospitals and may disrupt the treatment process of patients with special conditions,

for example

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, If a boxer is in a coma

due to

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a fight, it will occupy the hospital's ICU.

Finally

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, if serious

sports

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lead to financial or personal damage, namely accidents in car racing, it will increase government spending.

On the other hand

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, because of the reasons that I say in

this

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paragraph dangerous

sports

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should not be prevented.

Initially

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, freedom is an important thing in

people

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’s vita and it should be respected so everybody can do any

sport

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they like,

such

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as motorsports.

Furthermore

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, several humans think that a

sport

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is more exciting if it is risky, they like the endorphin hormone.

For instance

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bull riding

Correct your spelling

bullriding

may cause damage to bulls and other

people

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but many individuals like it and makes them happy. In conclusion, many

people

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think that dangerous

sports

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should be limited and the rest of them do not think so. In my belief,

sport

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is for health and it is not true that because of

sport

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and excitement, folk harm themselves or others.

Submitted by omranz2013 on Mon Jan 29 2024

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introduction

Work on introducing your essay with a clearer paraphrase of the question and a more straightforward thesis statement outlining your position and the main points you will discuss.

coherence

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Use 'firstly,' 'secondly,' etc., to structure your arguments logically.

cohesion

Include more cohesive devices to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs better. Moreover, try to avoid repetition of phrases and ideas to enhance readability and flow.

task achievement

Make sure to provide more balanced coverage of the views. While your opinion may align with one side, discussing both views equally ensures task achievement.

examples

Use more specific examples to support your arguments. Generic examples weaken the impact of your points. Draw from a wider range of sources or hypothetical scenarios.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public safety
strain on public health resources
individual freedom
autonomy
personal growth
resilience
sense of accomplishment
proper regulations
safety measures
economic benefits
revenue from tourism
hosting events
injuries
fatalities

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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities . Discuss both views and give your opinion . Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree ith this view.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professional such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training.Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.