Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities . Discuss both views and give your opinion . Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
There are different opinions about banning or freeing dangerous
sports
among individuals. I believe that dangerous exercise should be forbidden. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of Linking Words
this
argument.
On the one hand, Linking Words
people
should do safe Use synonyms
sports
for many reasons. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
may face a lot of health-related challenges throughout life Use synonyms
such
as car accidents, earthquakes, cancer, etc. So it is better not to increase these challenges by doing dangerous Linking Words
sports
. Use synonyms
Secondly
, These Linking Words
sports
are risky and may cause serious injuries to the person or others, which fills the space of hospitals and may disrupt the treatment process of patients with special conditions, Use synonyms
for example
, If a boxer is in a coma Linking Words
due to
a fight, it will occupy the hospital's ICU. Linking Words
Finally
, if serious Linking Words
sports
lead to financial or personal damage, namely accidents in car racing, it will increase government spending.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, because of the reasons that I say in Linking Words
this
paragraph dangerous Linking Words
sports
should not be prevented. Use synonyms
Initially
, freedom is an important thing in Linking Words
people
’s vita and it should be respected so everybody can do any Use synonyms
sport
they like, Use synonyms
such
as motorsports. Linking Words
Furthermore
, several humans think that a Linking Words
sport
is more exciting if it is risky, they like the endorphin hormone. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
bull riding
may cause damage to bulls and other Correct your spelling
bullriding
people
but many individuals like it and makes them happy.
In conclusion, many Use synonyms
people
think that dangerous Use synonyms
sports
should be limited and the rest of them do not think so. In my belief, Use synonyms
sport
is for health and it is not true that because of Use synonyms
sport
and excitement, folk harm themselves or others.Use synonyms
Submitted by omranz2013 on
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introduction
Work on introducing your essay with a clearer paraphrase of the question and a more straightforward thesis statement outlining your position and the main points you will discuss.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Use 'firstly,' 'secondly,' etc., to structure your arguments logically.
cohesion
Include more cohesive devices to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs better. Moreover, try to avoid repetition of phrases and ideas to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more balanced coverage of the views. While your opinion may align with one side, discussing both views equally ensures task achievement.
examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. Generic examples weaken the impact of your points. Draw from a wider range of sources or hypothetical scenarios.