5.New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's society, an increasing number of
children
allocating their leisure time to use the latest applications whether they bring them more benefits or not has sparked a degree of controversy among people. The writers argue that the benefits of utilizing cutting-edge technologies outweigh the drawbacks of receiving them.
On the one hand, the popularity of using advanced gadgets is disadvantageous to a certain extent. Firstly
, because of the distraction of study, SV. Children
tend to be attracted to many things in smart devices and they maybe could deal with it due to
a lack of consciousness, which has negative effects on full concentration on studying and students would have a bad performance. Secondly
, children
are likely to approach with the wrong perception through the internet. Much scientific evidence indicates that many platforms that emerge online could harm their children
about their concepts, such
as spending money on investment as opposed to education, which leads to failure in students's lives.
On the other hand
, I believe that benefits are more significant than disadvantages. The first reason is that children
could access with many latest knowledge to avoid outdated circumstances. For example
, a new theory was published recently, and children
who are curious about it could also
surf the internet and dig into this
hypothesis. Children
, therefore
, could improve their knowledge perfectly. The second reason is that hi-tech plays an important part in their entertainment. Children
, nowadays, tend to be nerve-cracking from their studies, so they use technology as the best thing to relax, which positively affects their mental.
In conclusion, this
trend might possess many disadvantages. However
, I am more inclined to the view that the advantages will likely prevailSubmitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
The essay offers a balanced approach by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of new technologies for children. However, to improve clarity, ensure that each point is fully explained and supported by specific, relevant examples. For instance, explaining how distraction affects children's performance with concrete examples or studies would strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
There are some issues with sentence structure and grammar that can affect the overall readability of the essay. For example, "they maybe could deal with it due to a lack of consciousness" is unclear. Focus on making sentences more concise and grammatically correct. Revising several sentences for clarity and grammar could help.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The points made in the essay are generally relevant and cover both sides of the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?