Some people think it is better for children to study in the city, while other think that education in the countryside is more suitable for them. Discuss both view and give your opinion
There is a controversial point about whether or not
students
should learn in city
schools rather than in rural areas
. The writer of this
essay believes that it is beneficial to study in urban areas
due to
adequate equipment for experiments and a better educational method of teaching.
One of the crucial points to learn in the city
is the sufficient tools for practising. To explain further
, Students
in rural areas
usually do not have enough technological equipment to experience in real life for learning. For example
, Rmit school which is located in Ho Chi Minh City
always prepares a lot of equipment that encourages pupils to practice and contributes to learning effectively in the experiment.
Another vital point that should be noticed is the efficient method of educating children
. In other words
, the teachers in the city
have many techniques that help students
comprehend a curriculum easily because these teachers have been educated on how to teach the children
methodically. For instance
, Le Thanh Tong school has just only invited teachers working in the city
to educate their pupils, therefore
, students
who have been taught by them show more academic knowledge than remote areas
.
However
, some people say that the children
may more fit with country schools. Because there is a belief that some students
can not catch up with lessons in a city
school due to
they are weak at learning. This
may be true but these students
should make an attempt to follow this
curriculum in the city
and not define themself as weak students
.As a result
, the student can make a big progress in their study in the urban areas
rather than studying in the countryside.
In conclusion, adequate facilities and effectual lessons for better education in the city
are the keys to letting children
study in metropolitanSubmitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Introduction Improvement
Your introduction could be improved by more clearly stating both sides of the argument. Additionally, try to create a more balanced discussion in each paragraph by briefly acknowledging the opposing viewpoint before presenting your main argument.
Clarity and Variety
In some places, your ideas could be expressed more clearly. Consider breaking down complex sentences into shorter ones for better clarity. Also, including more variety in sentence structure can make your writing more engaging.
Enhancing Examples
While you provided relevant examples, you can enhance your arguments by discussing multiple examples for each point. This adds depth to your writing and shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Response
You have provided a clear response to the task and addressed both views. This helps in meeting the task achievement criterion effectively.
Logical Structure
The essay is logically structured with a clear progression of ideas. Your arguments are easy to follow.
Support and Examples
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.