Some poeople think it is more important to spend moeny on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is said that
whether
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
money should be invested in motorways and
roads
rather than
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
systems of public
transport
such
as railways and trams.
This
writer disagrees with
this
statement because
with
Add the comma(s)
, with
show examples
more
roads
, there will be more negative effects on the environment,
while
with the development of local
transport
, there will be a range of benefits. It is evident that the emissions poured out of vehicles
such
as cars, trucks and motorbikes have contributed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change throughout the world. With the expansion of
roads
, we are likely to offer new cars to drive and increase the amount of exhaust fume
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the air.
As a result
,
this
has
profound
Add an article
a profound
show examples
effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the ozone layers which leads to some disastrous consequences,
for example
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming.
Moreover
, with the construction of new motorways, the government has to cut down trees, which capture carbon dioxide and transfer it into oxygen which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution, and accommodation not only
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contribution
Replace the word
contributes
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
biodiversity as they narrow the habitats for animals and plants but
also
do not accepted by citizens.
However
, developing public
transport
has lots of advantages.
Firstly
, with more trains, buses and subways, it could lessen the number of private vehicles.
Consequently
, purifying the air because there aren’t too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
emissions poured out.
Secondly
, applying trains for trading products is another benefit
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be considered. Irrefutably, there are two main ways of transporting goods
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
by planes and ships. If we add trains for
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
show examples
, it could be beneficial as it is cheaper than
plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
show examples
and faster than ships. In conclusion, extending public
transport
infrastructure could have
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of benefits compared with many drawbacks from enhancing
roads
and motorways.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both sides of the argument. To achieve a higher score, you might want to provide more specific examples to support your points further.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, and your essay flows well from one point to the next. Ensure to develop each main point more thoroughly to add depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your arguments are generally well-supported with relevant points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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