IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

#computers #technology #education #intelligence #development
In
this
 digital age, more and more modern technology is being applied to virtual classrooms, which improves the learning experience. The writer contends that
this
 is a positive step forward
due to
 the wealth of
information
 it confers upon
students
. The advent of computers is beneficial for
students
 to learn online. It must be acknowledged that computers help to store documents efficiently.
This
 is because not only do they have large storage but they
also
 categorize
information
 based on their size and type.
For instance
, digital books are now preferable
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 easy access and documents are saved on laptops or uploaded to
Icloud
Correct your spelling
iCloud
 for future use.
Such
 assistance prevents the loss of essential paper and reduces the amount of paper used for photocopying, which indirectly saves trees and forests on Earth. The amount of
information
 provided by artificial intelligence and computers is often argued to far exceed that in any textbook. With
this
 reservoir of knowledge,
students
' academic credentials will be enhanced in a short period of time.
As a result
, they are well-prepared with expertise that brightens both their academic journey and career path in the foreseeable future.
This
 can be seen in the case of a Vietnamese
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
 who self-studied using chatGPT as a tutor for mathematics, he
then
 graduated
into
Change preposition
from
show examples
 one of the most prestigious universities in Ho Chi Minh City. In conclusion, the arrival of AI and modern technology enables
students
 to study efficaciously.
Besides
, they can take advantage of the various
information
 sources on the internet.
Submitted by khoi11nk11e on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use of Examples
Ensure consistency in using specific examples throughout your essay to support each main point.
Balance and Depth
Consider including a brief counter-argument to provide a more balanced view and then refute it to strengthen your argument.
Sentence Variety
Work on varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement.
Use of Examples
Effective use of a specific example to illustrate your point (the Vietnamese student's story).
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, presenting and summarizing the main idea clearly.
Logical Structure
You've maintained a good logical structure, making your essay easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative platforms
  • customized learning
  • adaptability
  • efficiency
  • lifelong learning
  • automation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • educational resources
  • remote accessibility
  • critical thinking
  • emotional development
  • over-reliance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: