Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other peole and get news event. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvanages?
Whether
people
use social networking sites to communicate or access the news
everyday which can be beneficial. This
writer argues that the benefits of mending close human relationships and updating data quickly outweigh the drawbacks of personal information
leakage.
The most advantageous factor of using social media is that it brings everyone together in the hectic lifestyle nowadays. In other words
, far away people
can keep in touch with family members and friends through social media. From prior knowledge, most individuals who are far away from their loving people
can avoid being loners by connecting and communicating with their relatives via some apps like Messenger or Zalo. Thus
, social media is a tool to help everyone socialize together every day.
Grasping information
easily must also
be considered. It must be recognized that online newspapers help people
know to break news
faster than the ones bought directly in-store because humans do not have to go out to buy them so it will save lots of time to read the news
. As a result
, it becomes a smooth opportunity for people
to expand their knowledge relating to social life better than in the past. Moreover
, teenagers will also
be interested in reading news
online due to
the clear presentation of the online news
. Thereby, all ages of people
have the motivation and chance to read or gain information
about social life.
However
, a few argue that personal information
may be lost and leaked. They believe that this
will affect the victim's life as they have to pay the debt on behalf of the person who used to steal the account to borrow money at high interest rates. This
may be true, but if people
do not share too much information
about their lives and careers as well as
freely make friends with strangers online, they will avoid the above serious situation.
Taking all points into account, the possible impact of losing personal information
is outweighed by the opportunity to bond relationships between people
together and catch up with the times. Hence
, depending on the way people
use social networking sites wisely, it will have lots of benefits and vice versa.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
While the essay covers the main points, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. This will ensure the reader understands immediately what your argument will be.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a more consistent and formal tone throughout the essay. Some phrases, such as 'far away people,' can be improved for clarity and formality.
task achievement
Make sure arguments in the essay are developed with sufficient depth. Examples provided are relevant but could be more specific to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments from one paragraph to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the context well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while reinforcing your central argument.
supported main points
You have included relevant examples that back up your points, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.